


A Doctor, An intern, And An Assistant Go To...

by bookdrakon, TheTransfiguredCanary



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: 70's!, Also Pintrest, And Maybe Coffee, But Definitely Sugar, F/M, Feminism, I Blame Tumblr, MONSTER HUNT!MONSTER HUNT!MONSTER HUNT!, Other, Pre-Gravity Falls, References to the Beatles
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-09
Updated: 2018-06-03
Packaged: 2018-08-14 00:36:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 35,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7992106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bookdrakon/pseuds/bookdrakon, https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheTransfiguredCanary/pseuds/TheTransfiguredCanary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stanford Pines is on the hunt for all the weird things of the world. But he wont be hunting alone. Accompanied by a charismatic intern and a confident assistant together the trio unlock the mysteries of the world and maybe, just maybe, a few about themselves...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. CHURCHILL, MANITOBA

**Author's Note:**

> HELLO ALL!
> 
> So This has been waiting to grace the large pools of the internet for a while. I would post it on FF.net...
> 
> BUT THEY REFUSE TO CHANGE THEIR CHARACTER LIST! >:(
> 
> I did try to post it here...
> 
> But the pairings list scared me...

D~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~I~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~A

The wind outside howled slightly as snow blew about blocking out visibility. In a cozy inn a young man sat at a bar sipping on a whiskey on the rocks. He was wearing a long trench coat and a scarf. He was glancing about as if he was looking for someone. Suddenly a tall woman with long light brown hair appeared at his side.

"Hey there." she said with a smile. The man jumped a bit and looked at her.

"Um... greetings." he offered awkwardly. The woman looked him up and down and smirked.

"You're a tourist aren't you?" she asked. The man shook his head and adjusted his glasses

"I'm actually a visiting researcher." he held out his hand for a shake. "Stanford Pines." the woman smiled slightly and took his hand. A look of slight shock graced her face for just a moment before she shook it off.

"Joanie Smithe. I knew you were a tourist. You kinda stick out like a sore thumb." she commented with a smirk. Stanford's shoulder hunched and he looked about awkwardly before looking at her again

"I... I do? How?" he asked. Joanie snorted.

"You're wearing two sweaters and a scarf inside." she said with deadpan. Stanford chuckled a bit and rubbed his hand together

"Yeah it's colder than I'm use to…" he paused as a harsh cough shook his frame "so you're a local I take it?" the woman shook her head.

"Naw, just Canadian." she motioned for the bartender. "Screwdriver with one. Naw I came for the polar bears." The bartender placed her drink in front of her and she took a sip." speaking of you just missed them" she took another sip of her drink "so if you're not here for them why are ya out here in the middle nowhere anyways?" the man scoffed.

"I'm not interested in simple polar bears. I'm investigating statistical anomalies trying to figure out what causes them. But my sponsors believe I need an intern to help me so they sent me here to find one…" he pulled a slightly crumpled letter from inside his coat and flattened it out of the bar top "sadly the name got smudged so I have no clue who I'm looking for…" Stanford commented before he took a drink. He shivered slightly as the door was opened and a local apologized for intruding citing something about the blizzard. Joanie looked back to Stanford and whistled.

"Fancy doctor huh. I know a couple doctors. I'm fresh outta my fifth university." she commented. Stanford sputtered and coughed between his sips

"Five universities!? How do you pay for it all?" he asked roughly before he coughed again his whole body shaking. Joanie frowned worriedly.

"You okay there six fingers?" she asked. Stanford blushed deep red and stuffed his hands into in pockets and began to stutter awkwardly.

"Oh, i-i-i, um…" Joanie snickered at his bashfulness and punched him lightly in the shoulder.

"Oh what did you expect me to not notice the guy I shook hands with had an extra digit? Don't worry about it man. I had an aunt with twelve fingers. It's not that weird." Joanie commented waving it off. Stanford's eyes lit up.

"Really!" he adjusted his glasses and began searching his coat for a pen and pad of paper "that's fascinating!" Joanie just waved it off

"Yeah stuff like that run in the family. my gran only had fingers on one hand, my granddad a few extra toes and I'm pretty sure I had a great uncle with one eye," she leaned on the back of the bar stool "before you ask nope I don't have extra digits or anything. I'm perfectly normal. I don't even have a nervous tick or anything." Stanford was rapidly jotting down everything she was saying in a small notebook.

"This is amazing! You're strange because of your total absence of weirdness! Who knew such a thing was possible!" Stanford commented excitedly before another harsh cough caused another halt in his writing. Joanie winced.

"Yeesh you gotta get that looked at…" she commented worriedly. Stanford waved it off as he fixed his glasses.

"No no I'm fine. Tell me more about grandfather. How many toes did he have exactly?" he asked as he continued writing down what she had said. Joanie stared at him with another sakes raised eyebrow.

"You've never had a girlfriend." she said with deadpan. Stanford looked at her confusion.

"No. People have tried to get me to go out but it doesn't work out... I have my work." he shook his head and looked back down to the paper. "Now about your grandfather" Joanie chuckled lightly

"You just don't let up eh? Whelp to tell ya the truth I never knew that granddad. He died in a boating accident when I was baby. My great uncle is dead too. Real bad cold. And aunty Brenda got her fingers removed before high school. The only weird person left in my family if granny Mary-Ann and she was just born that way. Not much to it I mean she only has five fingers. Just happens ya know?" Joanie said with a shrug. Stanford hunched his shoulders

"Oh... Sorry if I made you uncomfortable asking-"the rest of his sentence was cut off as more harsh coughs wracked his frame followed by harsh wheezing. Joanie stood up and leaned over him worriedly.

"Okay man seriously! There is something wrong. Come on, let get you to a bed. You need to take a rest I think." she said as she placed a hand on his shoulder. Stanford shrugged it off.

"I'm fine it's just a little cold." he insisted before he shivered and held his shoulders, shaking slight. Joanie frowned angrily.

"Did you not here what happened to my great uncle! I don't care how small a cold it is! Hey bar tender! Help me tie this guy to a bed!" Joanie insisted as he dragged him of the stool supporting him as much as she could. "Come on!" Stanford shoved her away in annoyance.

"Let go of me I'm-" Stanford cut himself off with his harsh coughs as he stumbled away from the woman. "I'm-" he coughed again and he gasped and wheezed as he struggled to catch his breath "I'm-" finally he stumbled into a table before he sunk to the floor and went still. Both Joanie and the bartender stared at him shock.

"He didn't have that much to drink... I'm going to call an ambulance." the bartender said worriedly. Joanie clutched at her hair in a panic

"DO THAT! DO THAT QUICKLY!" she shouted worriedly.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stanford tiredly opened his eyes and blinked at the strangely white but very blurry room he was in. "ugh... where am I?" he muttered tiredly. Suddenly a blurry shape that looked vaguely familiar leaned over him.

"Welcome back to the land of the living sleeping beauty." the woman said with a smirk in her voice. Stanford squinted.

"Joanie? Is that you? What's going on?" he asked. Joanie blinked before she smacked herself in the forehead.

"Oh right! Glasses!" she held out the pair to him and smiled and he fumbled about but eventually settled them over his nose. "There you go. You had a nasty fall on your head. So tell me how many finger do I have?" she asked with a touch of humor in her voice. Stanford raised an eyebrow.

"Five?" he said more as question then a response due to his confusion. Joanie smiled

"Just checking, anyways we're at the hospital." Joanie said as she motioned to the room. Stanford took the time to take in the sterile area then frowned.

"What happened at the bar? I just remember getting up to leave and then I woke up here." Stanford said as he held his head feeling the slight bump he must have received when he fell on his head. Joanie pursed her lips in slight annoyance at the memory.

"You collapsed. I told you that you should get some rest but NOOOOOOOOOO! There's no need to listen to the one who actually speaks common sense. That would be too normal. The doctor says you have walking pneumonia. It won't kill you but I'm sure it ain't fun…" Joanie said crossing her arms and watched Stanford for him reaction. Stanford groaned and rubbed his eyes under his glasses.

"I don't have time to be sick I have an intern to find- wait if we're in the hospital how are you in here? Isn't there some policy about visitors here…" he asked in confusion. Joanie stared and sat up straight.

"Oh right! If anyone asks I'm your younger sister." Joanie said nonchalantly waving her hand. Stanford blinked then stared at her like she was insane.

"You told them you were my sister?!" Stanford asked incredulously. Joanie scoff and rolled her eyes at his reaction.

"Yeah. How else was I supposed to get in?" Joanie asked as if it was obvious. Stanford felt very confused and just shook his head.

"But I don't even know you! We shared one drink at a bar in a snow storm!" Stanford reminded her. Joanie just smiled a bit.

"Welcome to Canada." she said still smiling. Stanford stared at her incredulous.

"What does that even mean!?" he asked. Joanie frowned.

"It means you have pneumonia and no one to sit with you. I wasn't gonna let that happen and no one else would either." she said leaning back in her chair. Stanford felt a strange rush of emotion. Growing up where he did most people treated illness as a hindrance and people who succumbed to it weak. He didn't notice that he was staring at Joanie with a grateful and confused face until she cleared her throat and looked around the room self consciously.

"Okay quit staring at me it's kinda creepy." Joanie complained before she looked up at the ceiling and became engrossed in the stucco. There was a long awkward silence that Stanford wasn't sure how to break. After a while he cleared his throat.

"So you got any family?" he asked quietly. Joanie paused as if in thought then shrugged her shoulders biting her lip with an unsure face.

"Kinda?" she said uncertainly. Stanford raised an eyebrow.

"What does that mean?" he asked.

"Do cats count?" Joanie asked. Stanford smack himself in the forehead

"No." he said with a roll of his eyes.

"Oh... well I have extended family... 47 cousins on my mother's side and 56 on my dad side, and other 23 on my father's side. Then I've got the extended family in Scotland about 39 or 40 but they only send letters... so yeah I guess but I haven't talked to any of them since I left for uni…" Joanie explained quietly. She paused for amount then looked at Stanford contemplatively "depends on your definition of family I guess…" Stanford meanwhile had quickly done the math in his head and blanched.

"165 cousins?!" he exclaimed in shock. Joanie chuckled a bit.

"Yeah. Family reunions were hell." she said with a smile. After a few second the smile slipped off her face and she stared off into the distance hollowly before holding her shoulders and shuddering. She shook her head to rid her memories and nodded to him. "How bout you? You got a family somewhere out there in the world?" Stanford looked down at his hands that were folded in his lap, contemplative.

"Just parents and a brother in Jersey." he paused and his voice took on a sad and slightly bitter note as he continued. "And another brother somewhere…" Joanie picked up the tone and frowned slightly.

"... Ya... siblings can suck." she said with a touch of nostalgia. Stanford chuckled sardonically.

"Hah that's a bit of an understatement…" he said quietly. He and Joanie shared a short smile before a doctor stepped in and knocked on the door.

"Ms. Pines?" he doctor began. Joanie leaned back in her chair to look at him barely fazed.

"Ya?" she asked. The doctor stepped forward holding some medication.

"Your brother will need to take these antibiotics and stay in bed for the next week." he said before he handed the bottle of pills to Joanie. Joanie smirked at Stanford and snapped her fingers and pointed at him.

"Ha! Hear that six fingers! Meds and sleep! My two favorite things in the world!" Joanie said before she laughed heartily. Stanford meanwhile was slowly getting out of bed.

"Thank you doctor but I'm feeling fine I can just be on my way." Stanford insisted as he tiredly put his coat on. Joanie angrily came to his elbow and practically knocked him over.

"Naw naw naw naw naw!!! There is a bed in an inn with your name on it Mister! And I am sure as hell gonna make you sleep or my name isn't Joanie Pines!" Joanie said shaking her fist looking to the sky. Stanford growled and shoved her slightly.

"But it isn't Joanie Pines!" he said angrily. Joanie slapped a hand over his mouth and turned to the doctor who regarded her with a new suspicion. Joanie laughed slightly.

"See! He's delusional from fever! Don't worry doc. I'll tie him to the bed if I have to. Whelp we better get leaving. Don't want ta hold up a bed. Bye!" Joanie rushed out before he led the slightly unstable ford out of the hospital. As they stepped out of the building Joanie leaned over and began hissing in his ear. "Nice going six fingers. Almost got me kicked out." Stanford glared angrily and struggled in her grip.

"You shouldn't have been there in the first place!" he complained as he finally broke her grip. Joanie was not impressed.

"Yeesh I help out and get yelled at. Is this how you treat everybody who tries to help you? I'm not surprised you out in the middle of nowhere all by yourself. Bet nobody wanted to deal with your wonderful personality." Joanie commented, her tone dripping with sarcasm. Stanford hunched his shoulders defensively.

"I have friends!" he insisted.

"Really?" Joanie asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Well colleagues…" Stanford clarified quietly looking away from her.

"That's what I thought." Joanie said darkly.

"What's that supposed to mean?!" Stanford asked angrily. Joanie snorted and crossed her arms.

"Colleagues are different then friends ford. A friend will bail you out of a tight spot no matter what. A colleague on the other hand, well they're more likely to leave ya behind the second you start damaging their reputation. I've been screwed over by a lot of colleagues before. It ain't fun getting thrown out with nothing but the clothes on your back" Joanie said quietly. Stanford felt a slight pain in his chest but steadfastly ignored it.

"Oh." was all he said as he awkwardly scratched the back on his head. "I guess I should thank you then…" Stanford muttered quietly. Joanie snorted and rolled her eyes.

"No shit Sherlock. You have to be the stupidest smart person I've ever met." she said with a slight laugh. Stanford cleared his throat.

"Yes. Well I suppose this is when we part ways. I have an intern to find." Stanford said as he turned away. Joanie stared at him with a slightly slacked jaw that quickly turned into anger.

"Are you effing kidding me?! Didn't you hear what the doctor said! You have flipping pneumonia! What the hell man!" Joanie shouted angrily with clenched fists. Stanford growled and turned back to her with a hard face.

"Well I can't exactly stop working. I have to find an intern and start my investigation or I could lose my grant!" he said angrily. Joanie growled.

"Fine! Work yourself to death! See if I care!" she shouted.

"Fine." Stanford said angrily before he turned on his heel and walked away as snow started to drift down from the sky again.

"Fine!" Joanie shouted angrily at his retreating figure. With that she stomped away and began walking through town. She went to a coffee shop as the snow grew more dangerous. As the winds rattled the windows she figured she'd head back to the hotel. She stopped as she passed an electronics store window that was showing a storm warning. She looked around as people began shutting up their doors and looked into the whiting landscape. After a few seconds she groaned and winced. "Aw man!" she wrapped her scarf around her face a few more times and headed into the storm in the general direction that Stanford had gone in about an hour ago. "Curse my Canadian instincts!" she muttered angrily as she stomped through the rising snow.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stanford had been walking around town asking various people whether they had been sent to meet him for about an hour. It had earned him several confused and even creeped out glances. Especially since he was sniffling through most of it. Now he was trekking through the minor blizzard regretting how curt he'd been with Joanie earlier that day. He groaned slightly when the wind blew making him shiver. "Ugh...why didn't I take that room." he berated himself. He paused in his trek and looked up to the sky as the snowflakes whipped about. "this isn't going to end well is it…" muttered to himself. Suddenly the wind blew and ford teeth chattered as another cough burst from his lungs. "Damn. When did it get so." he shivered as another harsh wind blew by "so cold." ford finished as he coughed more. Suddenly a dark looming shadow whipped over ford head. The man looked up and his mouth dropped open in shock. Flying above him was a huge white bird with glowing blue eyes. It flew rapidly over head and wind seemed to follow it growing stronger as it passed. As the ice poured from its mouth making the blizzard stronger. Stanford stared for a few second with an open mouth before the shock melted away to pure joy as Stanford laughed.

"Haha! Who needs an intern! Get back here you over grown pigeon" Stanford shouted before he ran after the large bird. Soon afterwards Joanie ran into the same spot he was standing panting heavily as she leaned on her knees.

"Stanford! Wait you... Oh man! How can this sick guy run faster than me?" Joanie asked no one before she took a deep breath and stood up "Okay! Here we go!" Joanie said with determination before she ran after the idiot. Stanford meanwhile was running after the bird scribbling away in a notebook he'd fished from his coat. He couldn't believe his luck.

"First day of investigating and I've already found a Thunderbird!" he cried happily then stumbled as a cough wracked his frame. "Damn lungs." Stanford cursed as he winced. Suddenly the bird noticed him on the ground and swept its wings back shooting straight into the air like a jet. Stanford skidded to a halt in trepidation as the bird did an impressive loop followed by a sharp baking until it finally landed into from on him with a ground shaking thud. The bird was as tall as a house with a massive wingspan about as long as a barn. Its glowing eyes bore into Stanford before it turned its head skyward and screamed causing the storm growing thick and the temperature to plummet. Stanford collapsed and held his shoulders as the harsh winds blew around him. "I didn't think this through very well." he remarked before he shuddered and coughed harshly. The bird took a menacing step forward its hard eyes trained on Stanford.

"Hey!" Joanie suddenly cried from aside before she pelted a snowball directly into the Thunderbird's face. "Pick on someone your own climate!" Joanie cried angrily. The bird shook its face and turned to Joanie with burning eyes and gave another shriek. Joanie wasn't intimidated. She raised her fists ready to attack.

"Oh you think you're scary? I LIVE ON THE OCEAN! I'VE WRESTLED A SHARK! COME GET SOME!" Joanie screamed. The birds screeched again before in spread its wings and charged at her. Joanie paled at that.

"Shit!" she cursed before she turned and ran away "not smart Not Smart NOT SMART!" as she was running she noticed the dump and thought a bit before she smirked "aha! HEY BIRD BRAIN! COME AND GET ME!" she cried before she quickly turned for the dump. The bird had taken off by then and followed her from slightly above. Joanie ran into the dump and avoided a swipe form the bird's talons by hiding behind a pile of trash. She took a second to collect her thoughts while the bird circled about searching for her amidst the garbage.

"Okay... okay polar bear season is over but." Joanie scanned the area around and smiled wide when she noticed the strange metal tube among the trash "yes!" Joanie said happily. She quickly ran for it and inspected the trap. The bars were slightly dented just enough for her to slide through. She ran back out of the trap and waved at the bird. "Here birdie birdie birdie!" Joanie taunted. The bird spotter her and swooped down towards her. Joanie hid inside the trap and dashed as soon as she saw the glowing blue eye through the bars. The bird slammed into the bars and the trap slid closed over the bird's tail feather trapping it in place. "HA! HA HA HA! BEAR TRAP! IN YOUR FACE MOTHER NATURE!" Joanie cheered and heckled pointing at the bird with a wide smile. The bird opened its beak and shot a blast of cold air into Joanie's face. She slapped her hands over it with a yelp as she walked away "ACK! FROSTBITE! MINOR FROSTBITE! OH THAT HURTS! BURNING IN MY FACE!" she cried. As she walked out of the dump Stanford coughed a bit and wheezed as he struggled to get to his feet. Joanie rushed over to him. "Shit! Stanford. Alright come on." she lifted him up onto his feet and helped him find his balance as he groggily slumped into her shoulder. "Let's get you to bed... now do you want your Meds?" she asked cheekily. Stanford glared at her in annoyance as he wheezed slightly. Joanie chuckled a bit. "Alright come on" Joanie said before she got a firmer hold on Stanford's arm before she helped him trek through the town as the blizzard began to subside.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stanford slowly opened his eyes and groaned "big bird…" he murmured tiredly. Suddenly Joanie was leaning over him smiling a bit.

"Probably given the police chief a heart attack by now. Morning sleeping beauty." she said with a small laugh. Stanford groaned tiredly and squinted around.

"Where are we exactly?" he asked.

"Your room in the inn. Took me forever to convince then to let me in here. But when I told them you'd probably die if I didn't help you they let me in. I got your Meds here and a glass of water. Don't ask for your glasses you need sleep." Joanie said. Stanford sighed and lay down on his bed tiredly.

"You just keep following me even when you're not supposed to…" he sighed again "I guess it's keeping me alive so thank you" Joanie smirked and leaned back nonchalantly.

"Yeah well Professor Wilkinson said not to let you outta my sight." Joanie said. Stanford's eye flew open and he stared at her in shock.

"Professor Wilkinson?! Wait are you-" Stanford began in shock but Joanie didn't let him finish.

"He said you're the kind of person who doesn't sleep, drinks a gallon of coffee a day, and won't even notice if he works himself to the grave. So when I saw you sitting there at that bar looking a bit worse for wear I figured it was time I stepped up and started being your babysitter, oops, sorry, I meant intern." Joanie finished flashing Stanford a smirk. The man just stared at her in shock. After a while he finally collected his thoughts.

"Why didn't you tell me?!" he asked.

"I just did." Joanie said matter-of-factly. Stanford glared.

"I mean before now!" he shouted. Joanie smirked.

"I figured I'd have some fun ya know. Wanted to get to know you as a person before you got to know me as an employee." Joanie admitted. Stanford thought for a few seconds before he nodded in understanding.

"I suppose that makes sense... "He paused for a cough and a grimace before he continued "anything else I should know?" Joanie thought for a few seconds.

"Nope. Now go to sleep." Joanie said as she stood up. Stanford struggled to sit up.

"But the thunderb-" Stanford began. Joanie shoved him back into the bed forcibly with a sardonic chuckle.

"Hey Stanford ole buddy ole pal you know how I told the doctor I would tie you to a mattress?" Joanie laughed darkly "yeah I wasn't kidding. GO TO BED!" Joanie finished angrily.

"Fine." Stanford muttered before he grumbled under his breath about pushy interns and rolled onto his side. Joanie rolled her eyes as she went to turn off the lights.

"World's stupidest genius." she muttered before she left Stanford to his sleep.


	2. PANGNIRTUNG, NUNAVUT

D~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~I~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~A

Stanford looked up from his notes

"You want to go whale watching... We just fought a massive thunderbird and you want to go look at whales?" Stanford asked as he looked through his various papers and news clippings. Joanie looked out from behind her brochure glowering.

"Do you ever have fun? Seriously there is more to life than chasing things that shouldn't exist. Plus don't dis the orca! It is a majestic piece of Canadian culture!" Joanie cried as she waved the pamphlet around. Stanford turned away to get another new report and looked at the both of them as he turned back to her.

"I thought that beavers were the majestic piece of Canadian culture." he looked down at his notes again "And besides this is fun." Joanie made a face.

"While the beaver is our national animal it is far from majestic. And you and I obviously have a very different definition of fun... Why are we even in this fricken cold place anyways? You just got over pneumonia and it's colder here than it was in Churchill." Joanie commented as she looked out the window to the frozen harbor where various ice-breakers and arctic boats bobbed in the frigid waters. Stanford put his journal on the table and began to spread various newspaper clippings and notes all around it.

"There have been a number of disappearances in this area which lead me to believe that there could be some kind of beast here!" Stanford said with an excitement in his voice.

"And here we go." Joanie said as she groaned and flopped down onto the couch putting a pillow over her eyes but still listening as Stanford continued.

"Now the disappearances have all been adults but the creature seems to be targeting children. None have be taken yet but there have been several close calls." Stanford looked at her with a raised eyebrow "I think you'll agree this is a worthy cause and much more important than watching giant fish." Joanie scoffed and sat up.

"See giant fish you'd be into. If they were fish, but orcas are mammals genius." Joanie said with a pointed look. Stanford rolled his eyes and sighed.

"If you really want to go whale watching you can but I need to read over my notes and start investigating... The water." Stanford said slowly before he picked up Joanie's brochure and started to read it over excitedly. Joanie said at him with barely contained excitement.

"please tell me you've changed your mind." she said hopefully. Stanford looked up from the brochure with an excited studious glint in his eyes.

"According to this brochure the whale watching boat goes right by where many of the near disappearances happened! I can investigate the water to see what could be causing them!!" Stanford cried excitedly. Joanie held her hands up held like claws staring at him with a mixture of annoyance, anger, and shock. After a few seconds she sighed heavily and let her head fall into her hands.

"It's the best I'm gonna get." she muttered in resignation as Stanford smiled happily and started nattering on about aquatic monsters and scientific discovery.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stanford scanned the choppy arctic waters for any sign of paranormal. " If only I knew what I was looking for." Stanford muttered in annoyance as he pulled the binoculars across the horizon with a pout. Joanie rolled her eyes a bit.

"Look mommy! it's a unicorn!" a child suddenly cried out. Stanford whipped his binoculars around.

"What?! Where?!" he cried excitedly. Joanie snorted and pulled the binoculars out of his hands and pointed to the water right in front of them where large purposes with long tusks protruding from their heads dipped and bound over the water alongside their ship.

"It's a narwhal Ford." she looked over the water and smiled at the various children around that 'ooed' and 'awed' at the creatures. "The unicorns of the sea." Stanford looked slightly put out and huffed.

"All I see is a big fish with a horn sticking out of its head." Stanford grumbled. Joanie growled in annoyance.

"FOR THE LAST TIME THEY'RE MAMMALS!" she cried in irritation. Stanford rolled his eyes.

"I'm sorry. aquatic mammal with a horn. Doesn't make that much of a difference." Stanford mutter in annoyance as he looked through the binoculars again. Joanie snorted and rolled her eyes

"Well at least I'm more likely to see what I came looking for. honestly Ford, it's not like whatever is abducting the people is gonna jump outta the water and-" Joanie began haughtily but the rest of her sentence was cut off with a loud splash and a scream.

"MOMMY!" one of the young tourist cried from the water before something pulled it under the surface.

"NEVERMIND" Joanie screamed in a panic.

"I'm turning her about! somebody throw in a life line!" the captain shouted as he spun the helm back towards where the child fell.

"There's no time!" Stanford cried before he climbed over the ship rail and dived into the frigid water. Joanie rushed to where he dived in a panic.

"Stanford!" she cried before she threw her head up to the sky and screamed "UGH YOU IMPULSIVE STUPID GENIUS!"  
Stanford was too busy searching for the child under the frigid waters. He saw the child slowly being dragged down by a strange frog like a woman with long spindly fingers. He rose to the surface to take a quick breath before he dove back down to reach the child. As he ripped it from the creature's clutches and rose to the surface with the child in tow the creature shrieked and raked its claws down his leg. He barely flinches as he surfaced with a gasp. As soon as Joanie spotted the pair she cast out a line and helped drag them back onto the boat.

"SOMEBODY GET ME SOME BLANKETS! Ford you seventh level idiot!" Joanie cried angrily before she took the offered blankets and wrapped the child then turned to Stanford as the child's parents fussed. Stanford could barely talk through his teeth chattering

"I-i-it was s-s-s-some kind of-f... mermaid... th-th- thing... w-w-w-w…" Stanford shivered violently as the ocean breeze blew over him. Joanie wrapped another blanket around him before hugging him tightly so that his chest was against hers.

"live first, monster hunt later." Joanie muttered.

"w-w-what are you d-doing?" Stanford asked.

"Saving your life." Joanie muttered again, then she turned away "HEY CAPTAIN! GET US TO PORT STAT! THESE PEOPLE ARE GONNA DIE OF HYPOTHERMIA IF YOU DON'T! I DON'T CARE HOW MAD THE COAST GUARD GETS! PUNCH IT!" Joanie shouted with anger.

"J-j-journal on th-the deck. D-d-don't f-f-forget it." Stanford said with a chatter. Joanie rolled her eyes with a slight smile

"Yeah yeah yeah I won't forget your notes. Keep your pants on." Joanie said endearingly. She glanced towards the child and shouted again. "HEY! SOMEBODY CALL AN AMBULANCE FOR THE PORT!"

" I-I-I d-don't need th-the hospit-tal." Stanford insisted stubbornly. Joanie rolled her eyes

"Not everything is about you genius. That kid needs it. we just need to get you back to the hotel and in a fresh set of clothes" Joanie said. Stanford suddenly sneezed and Joanie rolled her eyes again. "and some cold syrup." Stanford sighed what a chatter.

"Th-th-thank you J-J-Joanie." Stanford said quietly. Joanie sighed and shook her head.

"You're welcome you stupid genius."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Joanie checked the thermometer that was in Stanford mouth again

"welp! you're still probably gonna die of hypothermia if you fall asleep." she commented as if it were nothing.

"WHAT?!" Stanford yelped worriedly. Joanie continued speaking as if he hadn't said anything.

"So you should probably take this time you can't sleep to take notes until i make you sleep." she finished before she went to put the thermometer away. Stanford stared at her from his cocoon of blankets as she moved about the room.

"You were joking right?" he asked with a tinge of fear in his voice. Once again Joanie ignored him and flopped into a chair near the bed before tossing him his journal.

"So what'd the big bag monster look like?" she asked. Stanford frowned a bit.

"Joanie…" he said with a strained tone. Joanie chuckled.

"Fine I'll try and take this seriously…" she said with a slight apologetic smile. Stanford huffed.

"Please do." he said before he started thinking. "It was obviously an aquatic life form. Webbed hands... huge claws... almost. .. amphibious…" he quickly pulled out a pencil and started to sketch what he had seen. " but it's grip wasn't that strong. I managed to free the child quite easily…"

"Almost dying, again, in the process." Joanie said with a clipped tone. Stanford coughed and cleared his throat.

"Yes well…" he said trailing off and shifting his blankets slightly. Joanie suddenly frowned in thought.

"Wait... child snatching. .. let me see that…" Joanie muttered as she pulled the journal out of Stanford hands.

"It had a coat so it's probably cold blooded which goes with the idea that it's amphibious" Stanford looked up and saw her thinking face. "what's the matter?" Joanie suddenly stood with a triumphant smirk.

"I need to go to a library!" she cried before she dashed out the door.

"Wait!" Stanford yelled as he started climbing out of bed "I'm coming with you I just-" Joanie threw the door open again looking livid.

"GET BACK IN THAT BED FORD!" she cried before she slammed the door again. Stanford sputtered indignantly.

"But you said…" Stanford huffed and stepped back onto the bed "Damn woman is insane" he muttered in annoyance before he sneezed again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Joanie rushed back into the room with a big smile and toss a book at for, hitting him in the face "So I was right! The creature you saw was a qalupalik!" she said triumphantly. Stanford sputtered and fixes his glasses.

"What's a kerplunk?!" Stanford cried before he looked at the book and scoffed "children's stories! You really think this has the answers about a real monster." he asked with a scathing tone. Joanie rolled her eyes and tapped the cover.

"Look at the section I marked." Stanford raised an eyebrow but did what she said.

"Ha what do you know that's it!" he cried with a big smile.

"Also its pronounced Ka-lu-pa-leek. If we're gonna hunt it name it right. Now according to the myth the monster drags people under the water to drown them." Joanie said

"Not sure what she does with them after but we should be cautious. Now they spend most of their time along the edge of the ice floats. I took the liberty of signing us up for a hiking group that is going up near the floats up north. With any luck we can slip away and see if we can find the qalupalik." Joanie finished with a smirk. Stanford smiled

"I'm just starting to realize how great it is to have an intern...." he said. Joanie puffed up in annoyance.

"Yeah well I don't get paid enough for this! I've already had to save your life!" Joanie cried then lifted two fingers for emphasis "Twice!" Stanford rolled his eyes.

"You get paid pretty well for an intern. Plus the experience will make you quite interesting to many scientist." he said before he started comparing his notes to the children's story and copying some information. Joanie meanwhile had turned away and muttered to herself.

"... yeah... other scientists... " Joanie mumbled. She trailed off and then shook her head to clear it and stood up straighter "Welp we better get going! Come on slow poke!" she marched out of the room. Stanford looked up shocked then leapt up from the bed pulling on her coat and clutching his journal

"Okay let's go!" Stanford cried as he ran passed her. Joanie blinked.

"Hey! Wait! Stanford! You don't even know where we're going!" Joanie cried before she ran after him. Stanford slowed down and grinned sheepishly.

"Quite right. Lead the way!" Stanford said with a smile. Joanie rolled her eyes with a chuckle

"Come on, ya stupid genius." Joanie said.

"How did you know about the qalupalik?" Stanford asked. Joanie stopped for a second then kept walking with a sad frown.

"My... my father... He was a bit of an adventurer... He used to come back with tales about all the places he'd been... I thought I remembered that story... but... Well my Gran Mary-Ann said he had brine for blood... One day he sailed off into the sunset... and he never came back.." Joanie finished quietly. Stanford scratched the back of his head awkwardly.

"Oh…" he said awkwardly. Joanie shook her head rapidly to clear it.

"Bah! Who needs him! I never did! Come on Six-Fingers! We got a child snatching monster to hunt!" Joanie cried before she marched forward again. Stanford smiled.

"Right you are! Let's go we have tour to ditch!" he said

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Be sure to stick together! These floats can be dangerous" the tour guide reminded as he led the small group through the safe paths.

"Damn... we'll never get away with him minding us like this." Stanford groaned. Joanie smirked and put on her sunglasses.

"Don't worry." She cracked her knuckles as if she was about to engage in hard physical labor "I got this." she walked away from him a few paces then posed as if in intense shock "OH MY GOSH! I THINK ME SAW A BABY HARP SEAL RIDING ON A NARWHAL!" she screamed excitedly in her best impression of a teenage girl yet. The tourist and tour guides all started to look around excitedly with big smiles.

"What! Where!" one tourist asked. Joanie pointed off into the distance at some random icebergs.

"It's just over that way. Just passed that iceberg." Joanie assured.

"Which iceberg?" another tourist cried, scanning the water with cheap binoculars.

"That one!" Joanie said unspecifically as she took a few steps backward.

"I don't see it" the tour guide said as he scanned the water himself. Joanie backed up and started pulling Stanford back with her.

"It's there keep looking!" when they got far enough away Joanie turned to Stanford "We got about twenty minutes let's go." she whispered. Stanford barely held back a laugh.

"Nice work Joanie! Let's get going!" he said before he started excitedly walking away from the group that was still searching for the adorable lie. Joanie snickered at them.

"Tourists." she turned back to Stanford "Alright I'm guessing we should start looking over there where it isn't as trekked."

"You mean where it says danger ice floats?" Stanford asked with a raised eyebrow. Joanie smirked.

"Yep!"

"Hmm… Sounds like a bad idea... Off we go!" Stanford said as he stepped over the warning sign and kept walking. Joanie laughed loudly.

"Oh man! Did I say you don't know how to have fun? I take it back! We need to get you to a happening Ford." Joanie said from behind him.

"Come on slow poke!" Stanford said before he looked back at her with a slightly unsettling grin "We have a monster to find!" Joanie threw him her own mad scientist smile

"Heck yeah." she moved to his side and pulled him into a one armed hug "Let go Six-Fingers!" she took another step forward and suddenly the piece of ice she was standing on suck into the water "ACK!" Stanford reached out an arm and steadied her.

"Okay that was unexpected. Let's move slowly... I don't want to take another unexpected swim..." he admitted before her took a few more cautious steps forward. Joanie meanwhile shook off the shock with a weak chuckle.

"I guess that's why they have a sign saying danger ice floats." she said before she grabbed onto Stanford's arm more securely to stabilize herself. Stanford chuckled a bit.

"It's probably not there for decoration." Stanford commented as he took a few more careful steps. Joanie suddenly stopped at a dawning thought.

"... Ford I just thought of something... the Qalupalik probably won't come around…"

"Why not?" Stanford asked with a frown.

"Because neither of us are children Ford." Joanie said with a smirk.

"Oh…" Stanford realized. He thought for a few moments with a frown "I'm not comfortable putting a child in danger intentionally." Joanie balked.

"Obviously not! Yeesh we're not psychopaths!." Joanie thought herself. "We just need to think of some way to attract the creature…" she concluded.

"We could put a child in scuba equipment... But it could just claw the tank. Maybe a recording of a child and a realistic doll... That would never work" Stanford started theorizing. Joanie raised an eyebrow and looked around.

"erm Stanford, Maybe we shouldn't be planning this out on unstable pieces of floating ice?" she said. Stanford suddenly looked around as if he'd forgotten where they were entirely.

"Oh yes. Let's get off here and discuss this in a more secure location." Stanford said as he took another step but back towards the tour group. As soon as his foot touched the ice a hand suddenly extended out of the water and grabbed Stanford ankle. Stanford cried out in alarm and tried to pull away from it. He and Joanie both slipped on the now wet ice.

"Stanford!" Joanie cried out as she tried to reach him before another hand reached out and pulled Stanford into the frigid water yet again. "AW MAN NOT AGAIN!" Joanie cried clutching her hair. She looked over to the tour group " HEY! SOMEBODY HELP ME!" she cried. Below the water Stanford was struggling against the qalupalik that was holding onto his legs and pulling him down. He tried to kick free when suddenly another creature came and grabbed his wrists. He tried to the punch at the creature but a combination of water resistance and the inability to breath made it useless. Back on the surface Joanie was running towards the tour group careful to follow the same path she followed with Stanford. Eventually she arrived before the still haplessly searching tourist and guide. "Hi, yeah I lied about the narwhal! In other news, MY EMPLOYER IS DROWNING! SOMEBODY HELP ME!" Joanie cried furiously. Back under the ice floats Stanford suddenly had a brilliant idea and bit the creature that had his wrists. The qalupalik screeched and pulled away from him, only to come back and rake her claws against his chest. Stanford almost cried out as the pain hit him. Joanie meanwhile was leaning over the edge of the hole in the ice carefully; squinting into the murky water. "Stanford?" Joanie shouted down worriedly. The tour guide meanwhile was nervously calling the ranger and the coast guard.

"Erm should I call the Health Center?" he mused. Joanie looked up forwards and her eye twitched before she turned to the tour guide furiously.

"SHOULD YOU?! I DON'T KNOW IS THAT A SENSIBLE THING TO YES YOU SHOULD CALL THE HEALTH CENTER YOU IGNORAMUS!" Joanie ripped into him. The guide was so startled he almost dropped his phone before he hurriedly did what she said. Below the surface Stanford was still being pulled down by the other qalupalik, he tried to kick at it but his limbs were starting to feel heavy and cold. He looked up and thought he could see a faint silhouette of a person. He could hear the faint muffled cries of his and something about Health. As the darkness started to circle his vision rogue thoughts began swirling around his head.

'Joanie I'm sorry... Dumb way to die... Stupidest genius... Cold... Stanley…' suddenly there was disturbance before him he felt the force pulling him down suddenly stop. Just as suddenly something was pushing him up to the surface. The world went black just as he felt himself crash into the icy coast.

"Stanford!" Joanie cried before she ran towards him and pulled him onto the ice shelf before she slipped back into the water.

"Helps on its way" the tour guide cried as he lifted up a red flag and began waving it to a distant person on a snow mobile. Joanie meanwhile was checking Stanford's breathing and choked

"Oh my god... " she whispered quietly before she frantically started CPR. "Stupid... fucking... asshole... don't you die... on me…" she said, punctuating each phrase with a push. Sirens started to wail as the tourist all got out of the snowmobiles way. Joanie glanced for a second. "OVER HERE!" she went back down and administered two more breaths "Come on Stanford... come on!" suddenly Stanford cough and started to sputter as his lungs cleared of water and he took a few raspy breaths. Joanie sat back on her heels panting. "Thank God. She said quietly with a sigh of relief. Stanford groaned.

"Bad idea…" he rasped weakly. The ranger meanwhile finally rushed over after finding out what happened from the tour guide and tossing all his stuff out of the trailer

"Alright get him onto the trailer! You got his feet?" he asked as he grabbed the shoulders of Stanford soaking parka. Joanie ran to his feet and grabbed onto the back of his legs.

"Yep."

"On three! One. Two. Three!" the ranger counted before he and Joanie lifted Stanford onto the trailer.

"You are the world's stupidest most annoying aggravating…" Joanie muttered as she wrapped Stanford with layer after layer of blankets.

"Ma'am are you coming?" the ranger said as he climbed onto the snowmobile.

"Somebody has to keep him alive." Joanie said with a huff as she climbed on.

"Alright. Hold on." he said before he flicked on the siren and drove off at top speed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stanford woke up with a groan and touched his head.

"Ow" he said quietly. Joanie leaned over the side of the bed with a frown.

"Don't scare me like that ever again you idiot…" she said with annoyance. Stanford groaned again and tried to sit up. Joanie placed a hand on his chest and forced him back down. "Don't move! You got some nasty claw marks... Plus the one on your leg was infected. .. the one I didn't know about... that you didn't tell me about…" she glared at him. Stanford winced.

"I didn't think it was important... It didn't hurt too bad... You're still glaring…" he said. Joanie growled and leaned her head on the bed bar on the hospital bed.

"Because you almost died today Ford! You stopped breathing! Your heart stopped on the ride to the Health Center! You don't get it! One of my jobs is to keep you safe and I can't do that if you don't tell me things! Please Ford... treat me like a friend... not a colleague... friends don't keep secrets…" Joanie finished with a heavy worried sigh. Stanford said nothing for a few seconds then he spoke.

"I'm sorry Joanie... The last person I trusted was my brother and he... he broke that trust. I promise I'll treat you like a friend and tell you if I'm hurt…" Stanford finished and a reached out for her hand. Joanie looked at him, slightly sad, but smiling and shook her head before she lightly punched him in the arm.

"Good... so it turns out. They found the carcass of the qalupalik washed up about two hours ago... According to the evidence a narwhal came along and speared it... so you can go around telling anyone that'll listen that a unicorn saved your life. Won't believe you but hey I'd say it anyway. Good story for parties." Joanie said with a smile.

"That horned fish was really helpful! That will certainly be an interesting story. But I think it would be the killer frog ladies that would be unbelievable…" Stanford said happily. Joanie huffed.

"Mammal Ford. they're mammals." Joanie said for what seemed like the thousandth time. Stanford smiles.

"Fine... Horned mammal fish" Stanford said jokingly. Joanie face-palmed and groaned.

"It's the best i'm gonna get... but professor Tito from McGill would be upset with me." Joanie huffed. "my marine biology certificate is wasted on you…" Stanford laughed.

"I'll try to remember what they're called if we ever run into professor Tito." he said with a smile. As the pair sat in the comfortable silence a nurse came to the door and knocked.

"Ma'am, visiting hours are ending soon." the nurse said with a gentle smile. Joanie sighed and slowly stood "Ah, shouldn't have called you my employer in front of all those tourists... see ya in a bit Six-Fingers." Joanie winked and did finger guns as she walked out the door. Stanford smiled and raised an eyebrow as she walked out then shook his head

"See you Joanie." Stanford said as he leaned back into the hospital bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there...
> 
> Almost a year since the initial post... I am so sorry...
> 
> the next chapter will not take that long...
> 
> I promise...
> 
> -Canary+Books


	3. COLVILLE LAKE, NORTHWEST TERRITORIES

 

D~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~I~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~A

Stanford sighed happily and sunk deeper into the bench he was sitting on in the fishing blind.

“Simple fishing trip is just what I need to get over the past few... Events. Good suggestion Joanie” he said. Joanie smiled and sipped her hot chocolate and tugged her line.

“Thank you.” she said before she snuggling into her parka happily “awww this brings back memories…”

“Good ones I hope.” Stanford said with a raised eyebrow. Joanie chuckled

“Oh yeah. Going up to the cottage with Great-Uncles Henry, and George with Gran Mary-Ann. Sitting out on Lake Manitoba…” Joanie said. When she thought back more she snorted. “Of course Great-Uncle Henry never had the patients for fishing. It's a whole lot a sitting around doing nothing so after about an hour of it he would cover up the hole with a fire pit and we'd roast marshmallows.” Joanie finished with a giggle.

“Wouldn't that be a problem when the ice started melting because of the fire?” Stanford asked with a laugh.

“Not when it's thick enough to drive on and it's cold enough outside that Gran Mary-Ann's poor kitty Whiskers lost its tail one winter!” Joanie said with a grin.

“Poor cat.” Stanford said with a chuckle “It is pretty cold but considering we're on a frozen lake it's not too bad

“Oh believe me Lake Manitoba in February may be the coldest place on earth. This is surprisingly nice considering we're in what they call the frozen north. But then most of Canada is cold this time of year. Our capital is second only to Moscow as the coldest. I can think of only one place that isn't high negatives this time of year…” Joanie said.

“You seem very proud of your record breaking death cold.” Stanford replied holding onto his hot chocolate with both hands.

“Hey I admit it! Canada is flipping cold! No one should live here! And yet, here we are in a rich culture filled area with amazing legends and even more amazing people. I'm not proud of the cold, I'm proud of the people who persevere through it. Who built this great nation despite all the things that make it a crappy place to live.” Joanie finished passionately.

“Well that's a damn fine reason to be proud.” Stanford replied. Joanie blushed a bit and batted her hand

“Everybody should be proud of where they're from. I'm sure you're proud of where you grew up.” she said.

“A bit. I may hate the place but I'm still connected to it.” Stanford said with a slight smile. Joanie frowned and looked at him

“Hate the place? Is it that bad?” she asked.

“Maybe hate is too strong a word…” Stanford reasoned before he smiled a bit “It was pretty bad but my brother alway seemed to make it better…” his smile fell into a sad frown. There was an awkward silence before Joanie smiled a bit and looked at him.

“Heh. I wish I had siblings... truth is while I grew up surrounded by cousins most of them were older than me. And they all went through that ‘I’m too cool to play with babies' phase. I kinda grew up on my own. Georgetown is pretty boring to tell ya the truth. You can do about three things. Shark fishing, boat rigging, or rock skipping. Two of those things get boring real fast and one is just too much work.” Joanie finished with a laugh.

“No wonder you liked ice fishing. It's kinda slow but it gives an opportunity for conversation.” Stanford said as he sipped his hot chocolate. Joanie laughed.

“Just warn me if I talk to much! My mom always said I was a chatterbox. Then again she would drone on for hours too. Especially if all my uncles were over at the same time. We'd get noise complaints. Course the neighbors were just joking around. It's not every day all six of the Smithe kids were in one house again.” Joanie said reminiscing.

“I don't talk much so having a talkative friend is good. So keep on being a chatterbox. In fact why don't you tell me more about these amazing Canadian legends while we wait for a bite” Stanford said putting his hot chocolate mug down in favour of getting a firmer grip on his fishing rod. Joanie smirked and raised an eyebrow.

“Alright then, here's a good one. Did you know that this area is famous for giant man eating beavers?” she asked. Stanford sputtered and laughed out loud.

“Very funny Joanie. I'm sorry for insulting the beavers.” he apologized.

“No no I'm not joking! There is a local legend about giant man eating beavers! Of course it's just a myth. There's no way-” Joanie started. Suddenly the ice under them gave a ominous rumble as their little hole in the ice rippled. Stanford stared at it worriedly.

“I'm fairly certain ice shouldn't make that sound if it's safe.” he said quietly. As he said with the ice shuddered again and suddenly a huge crack broke from their little hole in the ice.

“Run.” Joanie said before the two of them both abandoned the hot chocolate and rushed out of the fishing blind and across the ice towards the shore. Suddenly, as if a great vacuum was held under the ice the fishing blind collapsed into the frozen lake with an explosive effect. From the gaping hole in the ice sprung a massive flat beaver tail that hit the ice so hard in knocked both Joanie and Stanford off their feet and cracked the ice in several places. It slowly slipped into the ice leaving a gobsmacked Joanie and Stanford, who fixed his glasses.

“wow that's fascinating I wonder how it got so-” he was cut off by Joanie grabbing him by the shoulders

“Safety now science later” Joanie said before the pair of them ran back to the shore. As they arrived a ranger car pulled onto the bank and a man rushed over to them.

“what in the great Canadian north happened to the fishing blind?!” the younger ranger asked horrified. Joanie ignored him grabbing Stanford's shoulders and shaking him with manic fury.

“BEAVERS! GIANT MAN EATING BEAVERS! I MEAN COME ON! THUNDERBIRDS? SURE IT'S POSSIBLE! QALUPALIK? YEAH WHY NOT IT COULD HAPPEN! BUT BEAVERS?! WHY?! I HATE THIS COUNTRY!” she finished with a skyward scream. Stanford grabbed her own shoulders with a huge mad smile his excitement blocking her rage.

“I DON'T KNOW BUT IT'S FASCINATING! What are the odds that we would run into three different kinds of anomalies without much trying!” he said turning back to the hole with his fist on his hips, ready for science “I wonder what caused it to get so big and how big is it anyway?! I only saw a bit of the tail and it was big just imagine the rest of the body!” he said before he pulled out his journal and started rapidly taking notes. Joanie screamed angrily again.

“THIS IS IT! I DEMAND A RAISE! YOU ARE- AND WE'RE- AND I” Joanie tried to think but she couldn’t form her thoughts into words and screamed again.

“What's the problem?! We're out of danger and I'm just asking questions!” Stanford asked getting defensive. The ranger finally spoke up and lightly touched her shoulder.

“Are you alright ma'am?” he asked sincerely. Joanie whipped around to face him.

“NO! I NEED WHISKEY! LOTS AND LOTS OF WHISKEY! ALSO ICE CREAM!” she started to cry lightly “I NEED That too…” she sobbed. Stanford froze like a deer in headlights and walked up to her cautiously.

“Uh Joanie?...” he asked quietly. Joanie continued to sob.

“Why... why me... why not some other sorry sap... why couldn't I just stay in Georgetown... it's quiet there. There aren't any monsters... why Stanford why?” she asked rhetorically as she leaned into him.

“Erm... do you want a ride back into town... I feel like she needs a rest... and a really strong drink…” the ranger commented.

“That would be very helpful thank you” Stanford said before he put an arm around Joanie and led her to the ranger’s car carefully “it's going to be okay Joanie…”

“No it's not... because we're going to be hunting giant man eating beavers and I'm gonna have ta save your life again and it's gonna suck!” Joanie cried hopelessly.

“Not if you don't want to... We can just go get ice cream and something to drink then you can get some sleep” Stanford said with a uneasy smile. Joanie turned to him and gave him a look that showed a suspicious question.

“I promise I won't do anything about the giant beaver until you feel better…” Stanford said “ And a friend keeps their promise.” he finished. Joanie sighed and leaned into him again.

“Just get me completely sloshed... then we'll talk about the giant man eating beavers…” Joanie groaned. The ranger stepped into the driver’s seat after the two settled into the back.

“Alrighty then. Off we go.” he said before he put on the gas.  
  
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Around 11am the next day there was a knock at door. Stanford opened the door and smiled.

“Oh hello, you're the ranger from last night” Stanford greeted.

“That's right, I’m Ranger Samson, I wanted to talk to you and your…” Samson left the statement open for completion.

“Intern” Stanford finished. Samson nodded and continued

“About the...events of last night.” he finished.

“Come in.” Stanford said moving out of the way so Samson could enter before moving for a small coffee pot. “I set an alarm to wake Joanie right about now so she should be coming in soon” as soon as he said there there was a ringing from other room followed by a very loud smash. The ranger jumped.

“What was that?!” he exclaimed. Stanford smirked and poked his head into the other room.

“Good morning.” he turned back to Samson chuckling “she threw the clock at the wall... She's a bit hungover…” Stanford said. Joanie walked out of the room looking tired and a bit out of shape with bags under her eyes, squinting at the lights.

“I hate you.” she muttered darkly.

“I'm sure you do” Stanford said holding out a freshly poured cup of coffee and an aspirin to her “for your head. There's cream and sugar at the table.” Joanie took the aspirin and swallowed it straight. Then she took the cup and drank it all down before taking the pot from Stanford and drinking that as well handing it back to his who looked into it mournfully thinking of his three morning cups. Joanie headed back towards the other room then looked back.

“I'm having a shower. Feel free to talk without me. I can taste colors so my nose is probably gonna hurt hearing your words.” Joanie explained before she closed the door behind her. Stanford stared at empty pot and sighed before putting it in the sink.

“I'm sorry it was a rough night with the whole beaver incident.” he came back into the sitting area and sat across from the ranger. “What is it you wanted to tell me?” the ranger laughed sheepishly and scratched the back of his head

“Hoo yeah it was rough. I putting off the paper work for this one. I gave no idea how I'm gonna explain to the constable where fishing blind two went off to. What I wanted ta tell ya is that I roped off the area. Now I recall you or your intern said something about monster hunting and I was just wondering if that was a legitimate fact or just a fishing buddy joke... cause I'm pretty sure I saw a giant beaver and from what your intern was screaming she saw it too... that sound like a monster to me.” Samson said with a quiet gulp.

“My intern and I are investigating statistical anomalies and strange urban myths so yes you could call us monster hunter. I do believe that the thing we saw was in fact a giant beaver which is part of this areas lore. So roping off that area is a very good idea” Stanford reasoned before he opened his journal to review his notes from last night. The ranger’s smile slowly slipped off his face.

“See I had hoped that you would say we were seeing things... damn it all how am I gonna explain this... Ah the constable 'll never believe me!” Samson clutched at his hair nervously “and come summer when it's ain't quite as cold folks come here fishing!  Damn it all I came here for a quiet job! If people start getting eaten by beavers I'll be a nervous wreck by thirty!!!” the young man cried before he clutched his chest and started to breath heavily.

“Calm down Mr. Samson let's take some breaths together.” Stanford said as he slowly calmed the man down. Samson cleared his throat and straightened his tie.

“Sorry sir... I'm just a Junior Ranger… Constable Richie left me in charge while he went up to the north trails. He promised me it'd be slow and quiet... I guess I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed…” he admitted before let out a gust of breath.

“It's understandable. I'm sure it's going to work out. I'm very interested to see the beaver and might even be able to help.” Stanford paused a chuckled quietly “That is if Joanie doesn't kill me for trying to.” the young man chuckled quietly.

“You two sure have a... interesting relationship…” he commented. Stanford looked up to the door and sighed.

“Yeah... Is there anything else you needed?” Stanford asked. Samson looked around nervously and scratched his neck again

“Erm well actually sir I was wondering what I should do of the beaver leaves the water…” he asked. Stanford thought for a moment.

“If it isn't hurting anyone call the hotel and I'll come out and look if I'm not already there. If it starts hurting people I suppose it would have to be taken down.” he reasoned.

“Erm... question? How does one put down a massive man eating beaver?” the young man asked. The genius thought with a slight frown then shrugged.

“Shoot it I guess. Maybe if you hit the eye or a vein just right it would die.” he commented. Samson’s eye twitched.

“I failed my marksman training.” he admitted with deadpan.

“Well if you fire at it enough I'm sure it will be fine. And it might not even attack, you and Joanie both assume it's man eating but it hasn't shown any interest in eating us.” Stanford commented. The ranger still looked worried

“Well I looked into the old legends and they all sited the beavers as man eating... just being cautious. It's my job after all.” Samson finished. Stanford though back and became worried himself when he remembered Joanie's comments.

“Oh yes of course. I forgot about that part of the legend. Very clever of you to do research” he said approvingly. The ranger gave a sheepish grin.

“Welp in the summer we rangers run guided tours. We have ta know all sorts about the local legends. Pretty good practice really, even if it's not everyday that giant man eating beavers are suddenly real.” he said looking pale again. Stanford chuckled sardonically.

“It is quite a shock. I think that you're handling it well if it makes you feel better.” he commented. The young man laughed harrowed.

“Tell ya honest sir I'm kinda glad. Tell ya the truth Colville is pretty boring most times....” Samson said.

“Towns in the middle of nowhere tend to be. But they also seem to draw more monsters in…” Stanford said thoughtfully. Samson really laughed at that.

“I'll remember that if I ever decide to move... Welp I better get back to the lake... you'll be coming down later to investigate?” he asked with a hopeful touch as he stood and headed for the door. Stanford paused, glancing at the door behind which Joanie was oblivious to the whole conversation.

“Yes.” he finished without hesitation. The ranger smiled and lifted his hat.

“Welp I’ll be seeing ya then. You have a good say Mr... sorry I didn't catch your name…”Samson realized with a slightly embarrassed grin.

“Oh my apologizes.” the scientist held out a hand for a shake “ Stanford Pines pleasure to meet you.” the young ranger took his hand and suddenly paled and looked down at their joined hands.

“you have an extra finger on your right hand.” he said in a flat voice. Stanford quickly withdrew his hands and put them in his pockets.

“That's correct. I have six fingers on each hand…” he stated. Samson blinked owlishly.

“Alright then.” he tipped his hat again at the door “welp I hope to see you down later today... I hope your intern feels-” just then Joanie walked in and made a beeline for the liquor fridge pulling out a bottle. Both men stared at her wide eyed as she opened the bottle of whiskey and drank half of it in a few gulps. She felt their eyes on her and turned to the pair

“I'm paying for this. Keep your pants of six fingers.” she said before she tipped the bottle back again before heading back into the other room with a door slam. Stanford sighed and scratched the back of his neck.

“I should make sure she doesn't do something stupid... Have a good day Mr. Samson.” Stanford said with his hand on the doorknob.

“Erm... right... have a good day sir.” the young ranger said before he finally left. As soon as the door closed Joanie spoke up.  
“What'd the ranger want?!” she called out.

“He was really confused but heard you say something about monster hunting so he decided to come and ask for advice.” Stanford explained.

“Oh good. That means we can leave and we don't have to worry about anything. I took the liberty of packing our bags. All I need is money for the bus tickets.” Joanie stated matter of factly before she held out her hand for money. Stanford’s eyes widened

“Um I can't go just yet... I told him I would come down later to check on the beaver…” Stanford stated. Joanie glared at him

“Tell him you can't. We're leaving. I say we skip the monster hunter endeavor all together, take the grant money, and go to the Bahamas!” She stated plainly, the scientist sighed.

“I can't do that It's unethical... The money is for expenses related to my studies.” Stanford insisted. Joanie groaned and rolled her eyes before taking another swig

“Fine but we're not going to see the beavers until tomorrow before we leave. Let the ranger deal with it.” she argued with another swig “His job anyway.”

“Okay. But I'm not letting you travel until you sober up a little.” He stated grabbing  bottle from her hand and holding it over his head.

“But I want Whiskey.” she whined childishly. Stanford countered with a  firm glare

“You've had enough. I'm not dealing with you being drunk or hungover on a bus.” Stanford argued. The intern crossed her arms with a glare.

“YEAH! WELL YOU'RE…” Joanie yelled trailing off

“What? An ass? The world's stupidest genius?! Spit it out?” Stanford said back in annoyance. Joanie turned away grumpily

“Well I'm too drunk to think of anything right now but whatever it is you're it!” she said. Stanford glared at her before breaking into a wide smile

“This is why I'm cutting you off. I need you ready with your best insults at any given time.”Joanie grumbled laying on the couch

“I'm going to sleep now. Don't do anything stupid.” She ordered before snoring after a moment. Stanford watched her carefully for a moment then smiled placing a blanket on her carefully.

“Sleep well Joanie. Please don't wake up while I'm gone…” he whispered putting on his coat and leaving the room quietly.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Joanie woke slowly and sat up.

“Ya know what… that was actually a really good idea Stanford… your genius was shining through…” Joanie paused when she received no answer. “Stanford?” she called. Joanie got up and looked into the kitchenette and the other room. “... Stanford Pines, you're a dead man.” she muttered darkly before she grabbed her coat and rushed out the door. As she walked down the street in the direction of the lake a car pulled up beside her.

“Need a ride to the lake?” the elderly first nations woman asked. Joanie stopped and stared.

“Uh… yeah… I do… how did you know?”

“I saw your man heading there about ten minutes ago. Hop in, we can catch him before he does something stupid.” she offered. Joanie climbed in and closed the door.

“He already has.” Joanie growled out. The woman chuckled before putting the car in drive.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stanford walked up to the ranger booth and knocked “Mr. Samson it's Stanford.”

“Stanford! glad you could come down!” Samson exclaimed looking around in confusion, “where's yer intern?” Stanford frowned worriedly

“Back at the hotel. She's still upset and didn't want to come... So I came without her.” he stated. The ranger gave him a knowing look.

“You're in deep trouble man.” he said with a slightest chuckle in his voice. Stanford sighed heavily.

“I know.” he groaned running his hand through his hair “Let's see the beaver so maybe I can get back before she wakes up and sees that I'm gone…” he reasoned before he walked towards the frozen water. Samson suddenly spotted a figure over Stanford’s shoulder and froze

“Erm... Stanford…” he began. Stanford turned to him and frowned at his fearful face in confusion.

“What?” he asked

“STANFORD FILBRICK PINES!!!!!!” Joanie shrieked from the top of the hill towards the lake. The young ranger winced

“too late…” he said quietly. Stanford meanwhile was in a panic

“shit!” he exclaimed as he tried to ignore her and walked even faster towards the lake. “how does she even know my middle name?!” he suddenly thought out loud. Joanie was rapidly stomping towards him.

“STANFORD PINES YOU TURN AROUND RIGHT NOW OR SO HELP ME I WILL FEED YOU TO THE BEAVERS!” she screamed in fury. Stanford let his shoulders fall in defeat and slowly turned around to face her, keeping his eyes anywhere but her like a child caught misbehaving.

“Look. At. Me.” She growled out each word prompting him to look up sheepishly. Samson meanwhile was slowly backing away with his shoulders hunched trying to save himself from her wrath. Her angry face slowly melted away to a wide smile. “tell me Stanford. What does the phrase I promise mean to you?” She inquired behind false sweetness

“That I will do what I said…”  Stanford answered squirming.

“OBVIOUSLY IT MEANS NOTHING TO YOU! I TRUSTED YOU STANFORD! I TRUSTED YOU TO KEEP YOUR WORD! BUT NOW I DON’T KNOW WHAT I CAN BELIEVE! WHAT ELSE WILL YOU 'PROMISE' ME EH? HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO TRUST A MAN WHO WOULD GLADLY DISREGARD EVERYTHING I SAY! ALL FOR THE SAKE OF SOME GLORY HOUNDING ADVENTURE! AM I NOTHING TO YOU? YOU'D THINK AFTER SAVING YOUR LIFE TWICE MY TRUST WOULD MATTER! BUT IF YOU CAN’T BE SINCERE YOU MUST NOT TRUST ME…” She screamed until her eyes filled with tears her lip quivered “how could you... you just…” her words died in her throat and then she turned and ran away crying out onto the lake. Stanford watched her run frozen solid by her rapid change in emotion.

“Joanie wait, I'm sorry!” He called quietly when he shook off the shock. He started to follow her across the ice when a dark shape following her under the ice caught his attention.  “JOANIE!” he yelled sprinting to tackle her as the ice under her previous position cracked open. They slid across the ice as a beaver the size of a small car with glowing orange eyes climbed out of the now cracked ice. The pair scrambled to their feet and started to back away until the creature charged them with a raspy cry. Stanford pushed Joanie out of the way as the creature clawed at them catching his arm. He winced staggering back quickly then turning to run away from the beaver hot on his trail. he ran quickly until slipping on a very slick piece of ice. He stood up as the beaver roared at him, hot saliva hitting him and the ice, causing steam to rise from it. Joanie was watching all of this in almost morbid fascination when suddenly another beaver Emerged from The lake.

“THERE ARE TWO OF THEM?! COME ON!” she yelled. The second beaver roared causing Joanie’s instincts to take over as she punched it in the face. The beaver made a sound like a wine before roaring again and snapping at her with its teeth.“Just realized... probably not a good idea... running now.” Joanie said with nervous tone before she turned and bolted away as the second beaver gave chase until it suddenly changed course heading for the first hole in the ice. Joanie skidded it a halt and tried to think of something to stop it. If that beaver dove down they'd probably never find it. But just as the creature dove fore the water a shot rang out across the ice. The creature flinched but continued to fall into the water. The moment it entered the water proper a huge plume of water exploded from the ice knocking Stanford and Joanie off their feet and making the beaver chasing Stanford skid and scramble for grip. Joanie sat up and looked for the source of the shot and grinned when she looked up to the ranger box and saw Samson holding his rifle. The first beaver was still struggling to gain its balance after the explosion making it an easy target for Samson to put another bullet in  the monster. As he hit true the creature started searching for the thing that was causing its pain. While it was distracted Stanford got up and started running for the shore. Evidently the beavers were not nearly as agile on land as it water. The action attracted the giant rodents attention and it hissed before chasing him yet again. Samson started pelting the beaver with as many shells as he could but despite all that the creature barely flinched. Joanie yelped and dodged out of the way as the beaver skidded and nearly bowled into her. As the creature regained its footing again Joanie realised that steem rose from where the creatures blood had landed in globs. Suddenly it started to fizz and spit until it sent up and plume of scalding water. Joanie yelped and threw up her hand to shield her face earning her a painful set of burns. She instinctively curled around the painful wound before recognition clicked in her head.

“Oil…” she whispered. Suddenly she knew just what to do “STANFORD!” she screamed.

“I'M A LITTLE BUSY JOANIE CAN YOU YELL AT ME LATER!” Stanford yelled through his panting

“GET THE BEAVERS IN THE WATER! THEIR BLOOD IS BOILING OIL! IF IT TOUCHES THE WATER IT BLOW UP!” Joanie shouted towards him then turned up to the bank “SAMSON! SHOOT IT A FEW MORE TIMES!” Joanie yelled before she turned back towards Stanford  to see the beaver had changed its path to charge her , attracted by her shouting, instead of following Stanford. She scanned the surrounding ice until she spotted a patch of cracking ice over to the right. She dashed for it hearing the ominous cracking even before the beaver rushed onto it. The beaver stood overtop of her ready  to strike when the entire portion of frozen ice collapsed into the freezing water carrying Joanie and the beaver with it. The explosion that quickly followed drew Stanford to a stop, glancing toward where it had started.

“Joanie?!” He called continuing tiredly toward the bank glancing around for her then doing a complete turn and paling as he looked over at the final hole to form in the ice. “Nononononono” he whispered running toward the hole dropping to his knees when he gets to the edge “JOANIE!” He called scanning the water below as Samson joined him from his spot on the bank. As suddenly as she disappeared under it Joanie broke through the waters surface with a gasp. The boys help her out of the water quickly, Stanford wrapping his coat around her shoulders as she shivered and coughed. He started to pull her upright until she slipped and grabbed him right where the beaver had previously clawed causing him to yell in pain and switch sides. Once all three were standing Samson led them quickly to the Ranger post. He closed the door as soon as they were inside and rushed quickly to turn up the heater and add logs to the fire. Stanford moved Joanie to a stool in front of the fire and took off her outermost layers of clothes draping blankets over her as Samson brought them over. After that he grabbed for her hands, trying to warm them with his own. She hissed in pain and pulled her burned hand away  revealing slightly blistered skin and redness. She winced at the sight.

“It from the blood. I didn't recognize what was happening quick enough. Honestly I’m lucky I didn’t get a face full. Not only that but the cold water probably helped… at least a little bit.” she reasoned.

“Samson please bring a first aid kit. On the bright side it doesn't look very bad and you can feel it so there's no nerve damage.” Stanford said kneeling in front of her as he examined it carefully. Samson brought the first aid kit and Stanford pulled out some burn cream and a bandage.

“This is probably going to hurt.” he apologized as he started to apply the burn cream before carefully wrapping her hand Suddenly the Walkie talkie on the desk chirped to life

“White bay this is red bay come in white bay over.”

“I uh... have ta take this.” Samson winced grabbing it up and turning towards the window clicking the walkie talkie on “red bay this is white bay what is the situation? Over.” The Walkie talkie chirped again and a frantic voice came out

“What the heck is going on over there Samson?!” Samson wiped his forehead with a groan

“You two good? This might take a while and I'm probably going to send up the signal flags to the other bays... oh Constable Richie is gonna have me on a platter after this” He explained leaving before either of the other two could respond. Stanford finished the bandage settling on the floor next to her. The pair sat in an awkward silence for a few minutes with only the crackling of the log to fill the void until he cleared his throat.

“I'm sorry…” he muttered almost silently barely looking up at her before returning his attention to the fire. Joanie glanced at him then stared into the fire as her mind wandered back in time.

“When I was a little girl my father would always say one thing before he went sailing. ‘I promise I'll be back for your birthday.’ He said it every time... and he was, usually. That is until I turned 9. ‘I promise I'll be back by your birthday.’ but my birthday came and he wasn't there... so I waited... and waited... I was twelve when I realized he want coming back... after a while I wanted to see him again just one more time and ask him one question... ‘why did you lie to me?’ After a bit more time I realized I didn't need to know... he wasn't worth it... I didn't need to know his answer” She whispered out the story then looked into his eyes through tears “Why did you lie to me Stanford?” He looked away from her towards the fire

“You were scared and you wanted to go home... I was going to come here and deal with my curiosity so you didn't have to. you weren't supposed to come and get hurt... I thought maybe if I could deal with the Thing scaring you maybe you wouldn't leave…” Stanford muttered looking up at her pleadingly “I just didn't want you to leave me and I didn't think it would be that bad if it was only once... I didn't think you would get hurt I'm sorry…”Joanie closed her eyes at this with a bit of a smile

“I had no intention of going home Stanford.” she stated gently

“You weren't? But you said you wanted to go home…” He exclaimed, his eyebrows raised in shock

“No.” She said with a shake of her head “I said I wanted to move on. And I was joking about the Bahamas... why do you always assume the worst? Look, until this internship is over there's nothing you can do that will get me to leave... you're stuck with me Stanford” She concluded punching him in the arm playfully causing him to shrink away with a yelp of pain.

“Need to fix that.” he groaned looking down at the fairly nasty claw mark on his arm. Joanie sighed in clear annoyance as she pulled a bandage, peroxide, and cloth out of the first aid kit. She poured some peroxide onto the cloth and put it on the scratch, pulling another pained noise from Stanford, then wrapped a bandage over it with her free hand.  
  
“Fricken selfless idiot... Stupid genius... friggen babysitter…” she gurmbeled as she worked. Stanford couldn’t help but smile a bit.

“Thank you Joanie…” he said quietly as he grabbed for her health hand once she was done. She rolled her eyes and shook her head at his antics before squeezing his hand.

“Somebody has to keep you alive. You obviously can't do it yourself.” she said with almost a complaining tone. Stanford chuckled weakly before he frowned slightly.

“I have one more question” he said. 

“Yeah?” Joanie asked with a raised eyebrow. 

“How do you know my middle name?!” he asked in major confusion. 

“I broke into your wallet so I could sign the forms at the hospital in Churchill. By the way I think it's really sweet you keep a picture of your mom in your wallet.” Joanie said nonchalantly. Stanford's ears turned red as he blushed a bit and scratched the back of his head.

“Thank you. But you're not supposed to go through other people's wallets” he finished.

“What are you a cop?” Joanie asked blandly.

“No but that doesn't matter.” Stanford argued. Joanie rolled her eyes with a scoff.

“Don't worry I won't tell anybody about your mom's picture.” she said batting her hand. Stanford slapped his hand into his forehead.

“That's not what I-” he started but Samson came back before he could finish his thought. 

“Hey guys. So I cleared everything up. Told them all some teenagers put fireworks under the ice as a prank. They took it, thankfully, and I still have my job, thankfully. That said do you guys want a ride back to town?” Samson finished with a grin. The pair looked at each other before Stanford stood.

“That would be greatly appreciated thank you.” he looked down at Joanie  “you warm enough to get back to the hotel?” he asked as Joanie stood.

“As long as the car has heating I should be fine. Lets get outta here. I want dry socks.” she said before they all headed towards the ranger’s car.  
  
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Joanie set the luggage down at the bus stop and sighed “Stanford... do you have a death wish?” she asked. He looked up at her from his own luggage

“No. why?”

“I just don't understand why we haven't left the frozen north yet. I mean seriously please tell me we're going south after the Yukon.” she begged.

“I'm actually scheduling a meeting with a professor in the States that says he might be interested in joining our investigation. I'm not quite sure when that will be but that will be warm.” he said before standing up. Joanie thought then shrugged

“Well good. Eventual heat is good enough I guess. I just have to keep you alive for the next few months.” she paused then looked at him deadpanned “you might have to start paying for my Whiskey” the man chuckled a bit

“We'll deal with that at a later time. It's almost time to go. Are you sure you have all your stuff packed?” Stanford asked

“I packed us up two days ago Ford. We just need to catch the…” suddenly it was like a wave of woman began to surround them both. “What the heck?” Joanie said as the woman all started smiling at them.

“May we help you with something?” Stanford asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Yamǫǫ̀zha! For your health!” a woman said stepping forwards and handing Stanford an eagle feather wrapped in leather with a tassle adorned with stone beads. Joanie scoffed in understanding

“Of course. But how did they even find... out.” Joanie began only to peter out as she spotted the woman from before standing near the back of the crowd with a smile wearing the traditional Dene clothing of elders. Stanford meanwhile was too absorbed by the charm to notice

“Um thank you…” he said finally

“Yamǫǫ̀zha! These will heal you of any hurt!” another woman cried coming forwards with a pouch of herbs.

“Thank you.” Stanford said accepting those much quicker but still raising an eyebrow.

“Yamǫǫ̀zha! I have-” another woman said stepping forwards but Joanie interrupted her.

“Okay okay! We get it! All praise the mighty Yamǫǫ̀zha! Yeah well what about the mighty Yamǫǫ̀zha's intern eh? Where's my gifts and praise?” Joanie argued crossing her arms in annoyance. The woman all started to giggle amongst one another. 

“You allready have the greatest honor of all, Yamǫǫ̀zha's goèhłòò.” one woman said loudly. Joanie went bright cheery red. 

“WHAT?! NO! IT'S NOT LIKE THAT! NOT AT ALL!” she began to laugh very loudly and awkwardly, Stanford staring at her like she said she wanted to go swimming with qalupalik.

“Um Why are you blushing Joanie? What does all this mean?” he asked. Joanie shoved him away from the crowd still blushing like crazy.

“Unimportant. Let's just get outta here... “ she looked out back towards the crowd and spotted someone in the back with a smirk. “Hey Stanford isn't the only Yamǫǫ̀zha. Ranger Samson is the real hero!” she argued. The young man paled as suddenly the whole crowd turned to him in a sea of gratitude and smiling. He stood there with a bright blush on his cheeks uncertain of what to do with all the praise and gifts they were pushing on him. Joanie couldn’t hold back a snicker. “Suckers.” suddenly she felt a tug on her jeans and looked down. A young girl, maybe seven, was looking up at her curiously. Joanie smiled and knelt to her level. “Yes?” she asked with a smile. The child smiled shyly and held out two matching bracelets. 

“For Yamǫǫ̀zha and his goèhłòò.” she said innnocently. Joanie’s face turned cherry red again

‘What adult teaches a kid that word!?’ she thought in shock as Stanford mechanically accepted the small childs gift before she turned and happily skipped off to her mother. 

“Well... That was unexpected.” Stanford stated plainly before he carefully put all the accepted gifts into his bag.

“Let's get out of here while they're distracted.” Joanie quickly snapped out of her trance

“Right.” she said glancing at Stanford then quickly looking away when he looked at her curiously. He shrugged before he picked up all their bags as the bus slowly arrived at the station.

“Okay let's go.” Stanford said before he headed for the line to get on. Joanie turned back to the crowd and waved at Samson who looked back at Joanie very put out and laughed

“I almost feel bad, except they're pretty much calling him a hero of the world so honestly he'll be a celebrity around here.” Stanford laughed.

“He’ll probably never have to worry about food or sickness.” he reasoned, thinking of all the medicins those woman seemed to be holding, then he frowned “Wait why were they were calling me a hero? You and Samson were the ones heroic with the beaver.” Joanie sighed.

“Yamǫǫ̀zha is the title given to a hunter who uses not his strength of body but his strength of mind. I suppose it's because your the doctor.” Joanie said with a  sigh “I'm just an intern.” Stanford looked at her thoughtfully

“Well you're the real Yamǫǫ̀zha the other day. After all it was you who did the clever thing that stopped the Beaver.” Stanford said. Joanie smiled and shook her head.

“Doesn't matter. Hunter titles are only given to men.” she grumbled a bit crossing her arms “Fricken sexist…” then she slowly unfolded them “Well actually that's not true. Women are more important in aboriginal societies. We are the ones in charge. Certainly the chief makes decisions but it's the clan mother that give the go ahead.” then she frowned again “But there still aren't female hunters.”

“Oh.” Stanford said with a shrug “at least they respect women enough to make them their leaders.”

“True true... “ Joanie said trailing off as she spotted the mother of the child from before grinning at them happily and her face heated up again.

“Why are you blushing again?” Stanford asked in confusion. Joanie stilled and angrily shoved him onto the bus.

“Shut up and get on the bus Stanford!” she growled before following him up the stairs. As they both settled into their seats the small crowd and Samson all waved as the bus slowly started to drive away. Joanie leaned her chair back and opened her sunglasses casually.  
“Wake me up when we get to Dawson.” she said quietly before she started to doze.

“Okay Ms. Smithe.” Stanford said with a chuckle as he watched the scenery outside. Joanie chuckled a bit as the scenery whipped passed the window leaving Colville Lake behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SURPRISE!
> 
> so Books and I finally after years and years (okay only two but still a year and a year) have figured out a way that we can start to post these more regularly. I (Canary) am also gonna try to make banners more regularly as they're a lot of fun and don't take more than a day.
> 
> p.s. don't ask us what more regularly means because we don't know yet... more than once a year how about that.
> 
> -TTC &Books


	4. OLD FORKS, YUKON

 

Joanie unzipped her tent and stepped out before zipping it back up and walking over to the fire where Stanford was sipping on a cup of coffee. She rolled her eyes in slight annoyance before she sat on a log, put her guitar on her lap, and strummed a few cords. Stanford jumped, looking over at her.

“When did you get a guitar?” he asked and Joanie shook her head.

“I had one this whole time six fingers. Didn't you notice the guitar case in my luggage?” she said with a chuckle as she played with the tuning pegs.

“No,” Stanford said. Then he paused “Wait maybe but I didn't decide it was important.” he amended. Joanie snorted as she played a little tune on each string

“Course you didn't.” she continued tuning as she talked “I always bring my guitar when I go places.” she said as she adjusted the pegs a few more times “helps me think” Stanford smiled a bit.

“My friend in college used to play the banjo and a guitar sometimes... I always loved hearing it.” Stanford said as he leaned back listening to her tune. He looked over as she started to strum a melody he recognized.

“ _Listen children to a story that was written long ago, 'bout a kingdom on a mountain and the valley far below; on the mountain was a treasure buried deep beneath a stone and the valley people swore they'd have it for their very own_ .” Joanie sang quietly as she played. Stanford hummed quietly with the melody feeling peaceful. “ _so the valley sent a message to the people up the hill, asking for their buried treasure, tons of gold for which they'd kill. Came an answer from the mountain, with our brothers we will share, all the riches of our mountain all the treasures buried there_ ” Stanford smiled and sat up and started singing along.

“ _Now the valley swore with anger, Mount your horses, draw your swords, And they killed the mountain people, So they won their just rewards_ ” they both sang as Joanie played along.

“ _Now they stood before the treasure on the mountain, dark and red, turned the stone and looked beneath it…_ ” Stanford sang alone as Joanie slowly brought the music to a crescendo.

“ _Peace on earth was all it said…_ ” they both said with only the fire in the background before Joanie played the song back down to the end. There was only the crackling and popping of logs for a few seconds before Joanie sighed happily and turned to Stanford with a grin.

“I'm guessing you have the tape?” Joanie asked. Stanford nodded.

“Yeah.” he silent for a bit then continued “It's a nice thought... peace being the best treasure.” Joanie frowned a bit and put her guitar beside her.

“Yet unobtainable... because people don't know how to share. They want to keep everything for themselves... only ever think about themselves.” Joanie said looked up at the stars thoughtfully.

“Maybe one day we can move beyond our own selfishness and live in peace.” Stanford argued with a sigh.

“Maybe... but I doubt it. we're born selfish. And we are given all we desire. Then we are told that being selfish is bad. But it is in our very nature to expect others to give us what we want... infancy is man's greatest curse.” Joanie said as she snuggled into her coat.

“Infants can't really survive without someone giving them what they want. Because they just want their basic needs. Really it's once we get slightly older than infancy and…” looked over at her face “sorry.” Joanie shook her head with a slight smile

“Don't apologize. Intelligent discussion is part of what made me sign up for the internship. well, that and the prospect of traveling across Canada and the US. never could resist the adventure. It's in my blood.” Joanie admitted with a grin.

“yeah, the traveling is a big pro.” Stanford said with a  chuckle “Especially since you come from a small town.”

“Oh, I've traveled before.” Joanie said with a  smile “Like I said before I would go ice fishing with my gran in Manitoba, plus I have family in bc. And my mom used to take me to new Brunswick almost every summer.”

“Okay, so you've traveled a bit. But traveling with the family doesn't quite deal with that travel bug does it?” Stanford asked. Joanie laughed a bit.

“not always.” she said but then slowly her smile slipped away “ but you miss it,” she said quietly.

“Yeah…” Stanford said looking up into the sky.

“ What I wouldn't give to go to New Brunswick with my mom owner last time,” Joanie whispered quietly, nearly drowned out by the fire. Stanford looked over at her with a worried frown.

“Are you feeling okay? I've never heard your voice so quiet…” he said worriedly.

“ Sorry...I'm just... thinking about my parents…” Joanie muttered as she closed her eye. Stanford smiled sadly.

“Don't apologize. I think about my mom a lot.” Stanford said as he reached into his pocket brushed his fingers against a round object. Joanie was silent for a moment.

“Mines dead, Stanford,” she said plainly after a while. Stanford almost choked on his coffee and looked at her in horror.

“What?!” he cried out in shock.

“She died when I was thirteen... it was raining... she was driving home with my stepdad from Charlottetown... they'd gone out for a night. Just the two of them...the car hit a slick patch and got hit by a truck in the other lane... my grandad was letting me stay up, eat junk food... all kinds of things my parents would have come back and given him one of those indulgent 'Dad, you know better' looks... but they never got to give him that look... or tuck me in... or anything... if I'd known that that night was the last I'd ever see them... I was awful... I didn't even say I loved them before they left... I just wanted them to go so I could have fun with my granddad…” Joanie said trailing off as she tried to wipe the tears off her face. Stanford hesitated for a moment before he moved closer to her.

“she knew you loved her... Moms know everything,” he said gently. Joanie choked out a laugh through her sobs.

“I know... I just miss her.” she took a deep breath to try and calm herself. “I miss having a real family.” Stanford looked down into the fire thoughtfully. “I mean I have my uncles. And my cousins. But they have their own parents and their own children. they can't be mine.I don't have a family anymore. Like you said cats don't really count. I guess part of the reason I like traveling is that I'm looking for a home…” Joanie finished quietly before she wiped her face again. Stanford watched her for a moment before he stood and walked over to his bags and began rummaging around. Joanie frowned. “What are you looking for Stanford?” she asked. Stanford pulled something out with a  triumphant grin and brought it back over to the fire.

“You need a pick me up. They always remind me of home,” he said lifting the bag of marshmallows, chocolate, and a small box of graham crackers. “Smores” Joanie smiled wide and chuckled a bit.

“ Your genius is showing,” she said happily. Together the pair roasted the marshmallows when suddenly the sky lit up with the northern lights. Joanie looked up and smiled.  
“You know; there are a few legends about the northern lights,” Joanie said as she snuck a piece of chocolate. Stanford looked up in slight wonder

“Can't say that I do,” he said quietly as he watched the natural light show of greens and blues. Joanie smiled

“ My favourite one tells of a young girl who was separated from her people during a snowstorm. When the storm cleared and the girl realized she was all alone she began to weep until her tears formed a great river. As she wept she begged the spirits to guide her back home. When night fell the river slowly rose into the air and began to glow with fantastical colours. The girl followed the lights and they guided her back to her people. They say if you make a wish on the lights for someone who is lost they are sure to find their way home.” Joanie finished as she pulled her marshmallow off her stick and ate it happily.

“ Returning home…” Stanford said quietly. Joanie scoffed a bit.

“Come on, Stanford. Everyone knows you can't tell a wish or it won't come true,” she said.

“I know... “ Stanford said as he continued to look at the lights above “Just thinking about who I would want to wish for…” Joanie smiled a bit before she closed her eyes and turned her face skyward.

‘ For all the weary souls adrift in the world. Please help them find themselves home again.’ she thought thinking of all the lost people of the world. Stanford sighed and looked down and yelped as he saw the flaming fireball that was his marshmallow.

“ Oh shoot!” he cried before he blew it off rapidly. Joanie watched with laughter as he tried frantically to douse the flames, a bright smile on her face. When he finally got the flames out it was black on the top and part of the side but a lovely golden colour on the rest of it. “That worked fairly well,” he said matter of fact before he pulled it off and squished it on the chocolate. Joanie laughed heartily then slowly it trailed off to a smile.

“Thank you Stanford…” she said quietly. The young scientist smiled a bit and adjusted his glasses.

“You’re welcome, Joanie. Thank you for the excellent story,” he said before he took a bite of his smore. She smiled happily and joined him as the pair made smores long into the night.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Come on Joanie!” Stanford called hiking along the trail looking back at the Joanie as she jogged to catch up.

“I'm coming I'm coming! I'm just making sure the radio is properly hooked up... I don't know about you but I'd like to have a direct link to the ranger station when you get hurt.” Joanie answered joining him as he turned around to walk backward

“Hey if I remember correctly you were the one who got hurt last time.” Stanford pointed out then yelped as he tripped over a branch falling onto his butt “maybe that's a good idea” He conceded standing with help from his laughing intern. She looked around at the trees as they continue their hike.

“where are we going again?”

“Old Forks. I've heard that there are some mysterious things that have happened there.” Stanford responded causing Joanie to burst into a hysterical laughter.

“Old Forks? That's the name of the town? You're joking right?” she asked wiping her eyes

“I'm not joking.” Stanford said pulling out a map and pointing a town out “See, right there, Old Forks. We should be there by 3 pm if we hurry.”

“Oh man, I love Yukon.” Joanie said leaning over to look at the map “Look 'Blue Cheese Town' 'Rusty Spoke Village' oh haha! 'Fence Town' I bet they have lots of strikes.”

“They are pretty bad aren't they.” Stanford chuckled folding the map away again.

“That's because the Yukon was first settled by Americans and they have no imagination” Joanie explained

“I'm American.” Stanford deadpanned with a minorly annoyed expression

“I rest my case,” Joanie replied with a smirk turning back towards the trail to see it turn sharply right to avoid a sheer drop. “Whoa. Cliff.”

“Well, that could have been bad.” Stanford said pulling out a map “Is this even on the map?”

“Oh,  it’s right there.” She said pointing out a river on the map then putting the binoculars from her neck up to her eyes and scanning the other side “Look, there's the town... it looks deserted.” she said handing him the binoculars, he then used them to look across at the crumbling town

“The stories were right, it's a ghost town” Stanford nodded handing the binoculars back to Joanie and looking at the map again “Now to get across.”

“Wait wait wait! We're investigating strange happenings in a ghost town?” Joanie asked irritated

“There were a lot of ghost stories but I didn't know it was a complete ghost town!” Stanford exclaimed smiling at her quickly looking away before she face-palmed

“Stanford! This sounds like a scam! Probably teenagers making up stories!” she said more irritated than before

“That's a chance I've have decided to take!” Stanford acknowledged “and if it is teenagers playing a prank then we can handle it or call the rangers”

“If this is a wild goose chase we've wasted all of our time,” Joanie said folding her arms and leaning against a tree

“Not a complete waste of time. We made smores and saw the Northern Lights. That was pretty fun.” Stanford pointed out

“I guess.” Joanie grumbled looking at the map and starting out to the right “there's a bridge about 2 miles that way let's go see if it was a complete waste or not”

“Okay, let's go!” Stanford smiled running past her excitedly

“Wait up ya stupid genius. With your luck, you get bit by a killer wasp or something.” Joanie said catching up to him as he slowed his pace back to a walk

“There is no lore about killer wasps in this area.”

“Yeah but knowing you it would happen all the same” Joanie grumbled leading to a chuckle from Stanford

“You could be right.”

“Well come on.” Joanie orders then smirked slightly “Let's go check out rusty cutlery.”

“It's Old Forks!” Stanford corrected pulling out his notes “It has an approximated population” he paused he while he squinted at the copy of census records “negative 900, That can't be right.”

“Gimme that.” She said taking the paper when he offered it and looking at it “What the hell. -900. What? Who took the census? Where they drunk? Was it a dare? Both?”

“Maybe,” Stanford shrugged “or maybe they counted ghosts as negative people.” He finished with a mad grin grabbing the papers back and putting them into the journal

“No, there is no way there are ghosts in a ghost town. It's just too corny.” Joanie said shaking her head

“They’re dead I don't think they care if they're corny.” Stanford pointed out tucking away his journal in his jacket then Joanie grabbed it pulling him faster

“come on. We're getting to the bottom this” she said only letting go when they get to an old bridge dangling over the gap on ropes.

“Well, we found the bridge” Stanford said scanning the wooden bridge and feeling the ropes.

“Great. A rickety bridge.” Joanie said sarcastically gesturing him across “after you”

“Okay,” He said stepping out onto it then looking back at her “see Joanie it's perfectly safe” he turned forward and continued taking quick steps toward the other side causing Joanie’s eye to twitch with concern.

“Stanford, that is exactly what people say before the bridge gives out from underneath them. I'm not crossing until you're on the other side,” she said with crossed arms as he laughs

“Look it's fine,” he said getting to the other side then waving her over “now hurry up.” with his reassurance she crossed the bridge carefully. When she got to the other side she released the breath she didn’t realize she was holding then looking back at the bridge.

“Huh. I guess it was-” she began only to be interrupted by three slats cracking causing the bridge to sag dangerously. She turned to Stanford crossing her arms to see him scratching his neck awkwardly.

“you got across okay didn't you?” he said with a little laugh. Joanie scowled then turned toward the town walking off in a huff “Well you did!” he called following after her. They walked in silence for a while pushing through the overgrown trail with birds singing quietly.

“ugh. It was a straight shot through the woods yet I feel like we've been going through in circles... what's your compass say?” Joanie asked pushing a bush out of the way to enter into a small clearing. Stanford pulled out the compass putting it flat in his palm.

“it says we're going east so we should be going the right way,” he said with a shrug

“Alright then,” Joanie said continuing the walk pushing a branch out of her way.

“Wait,” Stanford said standing still looking at the compass confused.

“What?” Joanie asked looking back at him as he banged the compass against his other hand.

“now it says we're going south. now west,” he explained holding it out for her to see the needle spinning without stopping on his hand. She grabbed it to him shaking it then putting it flat again.

“this thing is possessed,” Joanie said frustrated then freezing as she processed her own statement looking up at his excited face with a blank expression.

“What did you say?!” he asked eagerly

“let's just go,” she said through grit teeth stomping away hitting a branch out of the way

“Okay” Stanford said catching up quickly pushing a bush out of their way “I'm sure we're getting close if that can happen to the compass”

“Right,” Joanie said simply moving into a larger clearing as a transparent man with a fishing rod floated through the undergrowth on the other side of the clearing whistling slightly. The ghost froze when he saw them and an awkward silence surrounded the three. Stanford took a few steps forward into the clearing

“um hello” he offered waving at him a bit

“howdy do.” The ghost said lifting his hat in greeting “ya folks lost?” he asked looking them over as Joanie opened her mouth then closed it with a sigh

“can I be frank?” she asked waiting until the fisher nodded a bit “you're a ghost.”

“I reckon you're right.” the man said looking himself over with a shrug “can't stop a good soul from givin directions.”

“Yes we are lost.” Stanford said after a short moment “Could you possibly give us directions towards Old Forks?” The ghost nodded gesturing over his shoulder.

“bout fifty paces that way. I'm sure Eliza would be happy to house ya. She's the woman that's missing an arm. Ya should probably check in with sheriff decks. He's the fat guy with a hole in his chest oh and stay clear of the McCorkle brothers, all three of em got nooses ya can't miss em but they really like pickin' on the living... Welp!  Fish ain't gonna catch em selves” he told them then floated away whistling a merry tune that sounds suspiciously like a funeral march.

“Thank you.” Stanford called after him then grabbed Joanie’s hand excitedly pulling her toward the town “Come on Joanie!”

“just remember ford. Try for tact,” Joanie reminded rolling her eyes “Asking somebody if you can ask them a couple billion questions is the exact opposite of tactful”

“I know. It's not like I'm going to walk up to every ghost I see and ask them how they died or what it's like to be a ghost? Do they have a surface they can't go through? How high can they float? Does it hurt to float through things? Can they float through people? Why are they still on Earth?” he said slowly getting more excited with each question

”you know on second thought just let me do the talking” Joanie offered, cutting him off before he could come up with more questions. he nodded after a moment.

“that's probably a good idea.” she chuckled pushing a branch out of the way stepping into a dirt road around a small beaten up town filled with ghosts. a bartender with burns all over his face was serving a man with a pickaxe sticking out of his chest and another with a suspiciously flat face. Across the way, a man with two distinct hoof prints on his chest was showing off his wares to a man with no legs and another with a bullet hole in his forehead. Outside an inn, a woman with one arm threw out a decapitated tramp, body first, then throwing his head into his arms like a ball. As the pair were standing there observing three gun welding horsemen with nooses gallop around them whooping. A blue light surrounded the pair like a lasso and they were pulled toward the center of the town.

“lookit, here boys!  Fleshy!” the one holding the other end of the glowing lasso said to the others who broke into an insane laugh.  
“we should help em out! Give em a taste of freedom!” one of the others said leaning closer to inspect the living as they tried to pull out of the lasso as the trio laugh again. Until a gunshot sound filled the air and everyone looked at the pudgy ghost with a large hole in his chest right below his sheriff badge.

“yawl get outta here! Go on! Get!” he called to the three who quickly dropped the rope around the living pair in favor of riding away whooping excitedly

“Thank you, Sheriff.” Stanford said squeezing Joanie’s hand excitedly causing her to glance at him quickly than turning to the Sheriff

“hi there, are you sheriff decks?” she asked gently

“that I am.” he said lifting his hat in greeting “How can I be of service?”

“We're passing through town and were wondering about a possible place to stay. Could you direct us to an inn?” Stanford asked calmly as the sheriff looked them suspiciously. After a moment he gestured with his head toward a ghost woman with one arm, cleaning a table.

“Eliza takes in everybody.  Ain't certain how comfortable it'll be. been a while since she had livin patrons but I'm sure she'll have somethin for ya. just keep outta trouble whilst yer here and we won't have any problems.” he said riding away quickly

“Thank you very much, sir,” Stanford said leading Joanie over to the woman who looked them over and smirked.

“I reckon ya’ll be wantin a room then?” she said wiping her hand on her apron

“Yes please,” Joanie responded

“welp. the sheets are fresh but I warn ya now, we ain't got indoor plumbing or heating. Plus the couple in room three are awfully loud” She said leading them into a lobby area floating behind the counter whispering over her shoulder to them “they were killed in a boating accident on their honeymoon and are making up for lost time... if ya catch my drift.”

“thank you for the warning,” Stanford said blushing a bit

“Anything else I can do for ya?” she asked putting a room key on the counter  
“three questions Stanford. Try not to sound like some kind of weirdo with a ghost fetish” Joanie whispered taking off her backpack and sitting in a chair next to the window

“If you Don't mind me asking why do all of you choose to stay here? in this town.” Stanford asked pulling out his journal and pen

“Well for starters I've been here all my life. I was born here, I was raised here, my husband built this inn from the trees around us. I had three children here. And I died here.” She answered “but if you must know every ghost has unfinished business. mine is too personal to share. but I'll be here till it's settled. if ever.”

“Oh would you happen to know how it is that you're visible?” he asked as he scribbled notes into his journal “Most ghosts I've heard about couldn't be seen but your entire body is easy to see like in a movie.”

“it depends on how strong of a soul you had.” she explained simply “the more spirited the person, the stronger the ghost.”

“Thank you for helping us I have one last question. Why do some of the people hate the living?”

“we don't hate the livin.” Eliza answered dusting the counter “We fear what they'll do if they ever decide to come back. so we try and frighten most off. Sheriff Decks must think ya’ll are trustworthy. Or he would a let the brothers had their nasty way with ya. oh he wouldn't have let them kill ya. but you'd be hard sold ta come back. what are ya doin' out here anyways?” she asked looking at them suspiciously

“I'm Stanford Pines, a scientist investigating statistical anomalies and strange occurrences.” he said “I heard there were some interesting stories about these parts going on here and decided to investigate with my intern Joanie,” he said looking at her as she sighed

“It’s nice to meet you,” she said smiling

“we just want to observe your town a bit maybe ask some questions then we'll be on our way and out of your hair” Stanford continued excitedly

“just be careful the questions yer askin there son.” Eliza warned “Some might take offense. Try ta keep a level head and use yer manners”

“Of course ma'am. I've already been told to keep my talking to a minimum. Thank you for the advice” he said putting his journal away Eliza smirked looking over at Joanie.

“ya must have yer hands full controlling- one moment” she floated quickly over to the other wall pulling the tramp from earlier through the wall. He chuckled awkwardly then flinched as Eliza threw his head out through the front wall. He shouted a bit in protest as his body wandered through the wall

“damn it, Eliza!  Why! O'er here ya stumbling idiot! No the other way! The other oh for Pete sake!” the head yelled as Eliza dusted off her hands returning to the pair.

“sorry bout that. The dead can be just as hard to control as the living sometimes.” she said calmly

“no problem at all” Stanford nodded

“Can I ask, what's his deal?” Joanie asked gesturing out the window at the body stumbling around trying to find it’s head

“he is one of our newer residents. lost his head in an accident. He's eccentric so I had to kick him out for scaring the other residents. He's still confused by his transformation.” she explained causing Joanie to wince

“okay two things. One, can ya blame him? I mean how many people die by suddenly decapitation? And two, why is he so obsessed with the inn?” she asked

“I'm not entirely sure why he's so attached to this place. But he seems most interested in the dining room” Eliza said gesturing toward the room she pulled him out of. The pair looked at the double doors then at each other.

“no, no, don't-” Joanie started to say standing and waving her hands only to be cut off by an excited scientist with a mad grin.

“let's investigate!” he shouted and Joanie face-palmed with a groan.  
“say that.” she finished sighing “here we go.”

“Come on Joanie! It'll be interesting and I can't see how this could result in being thrown into cold water so It won't be dangerous.” Stanford said excitedly turning to Eliza “that is if it's alright with you Ma'am”

“I see nothing wrong with it,” she said raising an eyebrow “maybe it'll help him move on. anything ta get him outta here really.”

“thank you” Stanford called already at the door opening it then looking expectantly at Joanie, who rolled her eyes.

“such manners. Why thank you, Dr. Pines, how considerate.” she said sarcastically walking in and looking around then whistling “that is one fancy chandelier.”

“Excellent crystal work that would be lovely to see lit up missing a few crystals but really that's easy to fix up and expected as it's slightly aged,” Stanford said looking up at it closely as Eliza floated through the open doors

“It was my father's pride and joy. Said he bought it from an opera house somewhere in Europe.” She said smiling proudly “My ma always said our inn was too humble for it. but I feel that it made the place seem like a palace. not much now. Town hasn't had working electricity since 1917 when the town was abandoned.” she continued

“still a lovely sight.” Stanford said look at her then back at it “My dad would love this.”

The tramp floated in through the back wall with his head under his arm then started to float out when he realized the other people in the room. Joanie stepped toward him with a small smile  
“Hey wait, what's your name?” she asked making him look around suspiciously

“Erm... it's Davis, Davis Corner” he responded looking at her briefly then up at the chandelier, Joanie followed his line of sight and smiled.   

“You ever been to Paris, Davis?” She asked gently

“My mum lived there. my dad was Scottish. her family was real mad at her for not marrying French.” he said thinking back as Joanie smirked

, “ever been to the opera house?” Joanie asked gently, Davis’ face turning pale and sad

“I... I…I died in the old opera house.” he said his eyes looking down in shame “I got drunk and snuck in to paint the old backdrops, to mess around ya know. just being a delinquent. I didn't have a job or money. living off my mum, she loved the opera house. I guess I was too drunk to even realise what I was doing.” he said holding his head closer to his chest protectively

“oh man, this is damn corny.” she muttered under her herself then turned back to him “the original Paris opera house chandelier must have brought you all the way out here. You must be tied to it because it was the only thing left of the building. It wasn’t destroyed because it was moved when the opera first closed and wasn’t even there when you died. You were protecting the last piece of the opera because you wanted some way to make it up to your mom for being a useless drunkard. when did you die Davis?” she asked raising an eyebrow

“1921,” he said after a moment of hesitation

“I hate to break it to ya Davis but your mom's probably dead.” she said gently. davis stared at her blinking owlishly, “I mean, if she was around 30 in 20’s and its the 70’s now. So she’d be in her 80's. So maybe she’s alive. My point is you don't know either way eh? You’re all the way over here while she's in Paris. You’re not doing her much good here. You should try to help your mom out while you can. Be the son in death you weren't in life. Ya know?” She recovered quickly. Davis stared at her for a moment then smiled and put his head on his shoulders and disappeared in a wisp of light. She and Stanford stared at the spot where he was then looking at Eliza

“what was that?!” Stanford asked like an excited child and Eliza smiled at him like a patient mother.

“he went off. who knows where but I reckon he won't be coming back.” Eliza explained looking over at Joanie  “Thank you Joanie.” Joanie nodded acknowledgment

“Well, that's interesting. So when a ghost completes the task that kept them here and they just, Poof.” Stanford asked excitedly

“Naw I don't think he's moved on yet. think he just left.” Joanie said “I have a feeling moving on has more of a light show”

“so He'll leave the hotel alone! Good job Joanie!” Stanford said glancing past her to see a black curtain covering something large and rectangular.

“what's this?” he asked walking over to touch it

“Don't take that curtain down!” Eliza yelled at him

“Why not?” he asked turning around to face her putting his hand down

“it's covering a mirror... We can get caught in some mirrors so they have to stay covered.” Eliza explained as Stanford moved away from it.

“why mirrors? Seems kinda weird.” Joanie asked looking at Eliza confused

“I ain't sure, it’s just a fact.”

“welp we better get to the room.” Joanie said going back into the lobby area and grabbing the key from the desk “I don't know about you Stanford but im kinda sore from lugging this pack around all day.” she added reaching for her bag until it began to glow blue and float up.

“allow me.” Eliza said directing the bags upstairs and to the door of their room.

“that was cool.” Joanie said calmly to a curtseying Eliza

“thank ya kindly.”

“That's so cool!” Stanford yelled smiling like a kid in a candy store “It's molecular control resulting in levitation! That's how there can be different effects of a haunting like doors closing!”

“easy there Stanford.” Joanie smiled gently “If you start squealing Like a schoolgirl I will feel obligated to tell all the professors I know so we can laugh about it.”

“right professional.” Stanford said taking on a serious face “since When did you start caring if I squeal.”

“This is actually the most excited I've ever seen ya six fingers. I care because I've never heard you like this before.” Joanie said with a shrug “makes me think you might actually have a personality besides nerdiness and sciency stuff.”

“wait until I get started about Dungeons, Dungeons and More Dungeons,” Stanford said with a smirk starting up the stairs with Joanie behind him

“Oh god, you are a typical nerd with glasses.” Joanie said laughing

“I thought we were trying to be professional here” Stanford replied rolling his eyes

“I'm only joking around. I prefer rolling dice when there's money involved but I knew plenty of people at Hayward business that liked that game.” She said smirking “Not really my thing though. More of a sifI fan as opposed to fantasy.”

“So do you like Star Trek?!” Stanford asked excitedly

“Beam me up Scotty!” Joanie imitated smiling brightly as they get to the top of the stairs. Stanford smiled holding up his hand in the Vulcan salute with two fingers with his thumb and three on the other side. Joanie responded with the same salute

“Vulcan high five!” she said then chuckled awkwardly “or high six?”

“Vulcan high six” Stanford said smiling slightly putting they hands together. Joanie threw her hands up and whooped in excitement starting off down the hallway.

“now who's squealing like a schoolgirl?” Stanford asked smirking as he followed her

“yeah but all of my Professors already laugh at me about that. Not much of a threat behind it.” She said turning to him then stopping in front of the door where their bags sat. Joanie unlocked the door and glanced around at the room to see a simple room with a bed in the center, nightstand with a gas lamp, and a dresser.

“and there's one bed. dibs! You get the floor!” she said running to the bed and jumping onto it causing a cloud of dust to fly up.

“why would she put us in a room with one bed,” Stanford asked grabbing a pillow and putting it on the dresser and grabbing their bags from the hall.

“who knows.” Joanie said standing up and dusting herself off “not quite sunset yet. how bout we go over to the tavern. You can ask each ghost a few questions as long as you promise not to freak out too too much.”

“Sounds like a wonderful plan Ms. Smithe,” Stanford said moving to the door and holding it for her, she walked out raising an eyebrow suspiciously.

“you are being very polite Dr. Pines.” Joanie said sweetly “if I ever meet your mother I'll be sure to tell her what a sweetheart her son is.”

Stanford blushed as he closed the door behind her.

“she would be very happy to hear it. I wasn't very good with people growing up.” he said weakly remnising. Joanie winced herself.

“heh... yeah me neither. I got into a lot of fights when I was a kid. knocked one kids teeth out once.” she remembered but this time there was a slightest smirk on her face. Stanford laughed a bit.

“ my dad had my brother and I take a boxing class when we were younger... I read through most of it I was always the six fingered brainiac.” he said

“oh I gave my mom quite a hard time. spent most of school in detention, Any time out of it in trouble.see the adults all talked about my mom behind her back.and the kids parroted back what they'd heard.so I defended her.but it kinda made things worse  cause they started talking about how she couldn't even control for her delinquent kid.” Joanie finished with a weary frown. Stanford looked at her worriedly.

“you punched people for your family.You did what you thought was right in your young mind.” he defended. A smile crept its way onto her face.

“ yeah. I just wish I was less trouble you know. I didn't straighten out till after.” she cut herself off before she finished her though and shook her head. After  afew seconds she looked up with a cocky grin on her face. “well at least I can brag about how I'm working with a genius doctor! All those jerks never even left Georgetown and I've been to five of the best universities in North America!” she bragged.

“she'd be very proud.” Stanford said with a smile. There was no need to clarify who he meant. Joanie smiled at that. Then Stanford put on a dumb face. “But who's this genius doctor you're working with?” Joanie tried to put on an annoyed look but she couldn’t hold it and burst out laughing. After a few minutes. in which Stanford joined her. Joanie’s relaxed back to a casual smile.

“ thanks for cheering me up Stanford.” she said quietly. Stanford adjusted his glasses slightly.

“ No problem Joanie. Let's go get a drink.” he said before the two headed through the lobby and out the door. As they walked down the street Joanie watched all the various ghosts walk to and fro. There was a dripping wet woman pushing a baby carriage , a frightening looking man that appeared to be missing half his face, and the apparent victim of a stampede covered in hoof prints. As they neared the tavern Joanie noticed just how crowded it was. The moment they stepped inside the temperature was physically several degrees colder. It was so cold that even Joanie started to shiver a bit despite her knit sweater.

“ man its cold.should a put on another sweater.” she said with a slight chattering of teeth.

“Yeah It's a bit cold in here.” he said as he started to pull off his coat a bit. Joanie saw this and shook he head.

“I'm fine. Hey bartender. Got anything that won't make us join you?” she joked as she jumped up onto one of the bar stools while Stanford sat beside her. Most of the patrons of the bar let out loud laughter.  
“fraid, not mame. The comment getting riper with age tends to lose its stick

after about three decades.” he said with a grin as he looked from across the bar at her. Stanford chuckle a bit and pull a small silver canteen out of his coat pocket.

“ this round is on me. Are there any glasses we can use good sir?” he asked politely. Te bartender levitated to tumblers onto the count.

“ just cleaned em.” he assured

“ah! your genius is showing again!” Joanie said with a  grin as Stanford poured them each a share.

“Thank you,” he said as he stowed the canteen away again. Joanie lifted her glass.

“cheers! Go ahead and ask the bar keep five questions ford. You've earned it!” she said before she took a swig with a smile. Stanford began to grin like a madman as he turned to the ghost sitting next to him.

“if you don't mind me asking how are you sitting on that chair instead of falling through it?” he asked out of the blue. Joanie smacked herself in the forehead.

“Oh for. I said the bar ke- oh whatever.” Joanie grumbled in defeat.

“ erm…” the ghost said uncertainty, staring at him in slight fear “well I'm actually floating above it…” Stanford meanwhile was writing things in his journal rapidly.

“ interesting. May I ask How high can you hover?” he asked not looking up as he continued to record information.

“ um... ya know I've never actually tried to figure out.” the ghost said thoughtfully.

“why exactly are you in a bar? Is it just a habit? Socialization? Can you actually get a drink?” Stanford asked rapid fire. The ghost was getting quite uncomfortable and actually started to lean back from the manic scientist.

“erm... well I er…” he stammered unsure how to free himself from the current conversation. Joanie came to his rescue.

“dammit, Ford stop being a creep! Sorry, sir. He has the social delicacy of a mosquito.” Joanie chastised before she punched Stanford in the arm. He rubbed his arm with a pouty look before he turned back to the specter with an apologetic wince.

“ I apologise if I made you uncomfortable. Small talk is not my best skill.” Stanford apologized. The ghost gave a weak grin before he floated as far away as he could while still remaining in the tavern.

“ yawl be wantin ta stop doing that son. You might get a bullet in the forehead. answering yer questions most patron come here ta socialize. Humans are social creatures. Human ghosts aint different. now we can't drink anything nor taste. Ain't got a tongue to taste with no more. But we remember and being in a setting where food was enjoyed in life helps bring those memories forward so we can remember what a good drink tasted like.... Some of us better than others!” the barkeep finished as a table of drunk looking ghosts cheered causing the whole bar to erupt with laughter.  
Stanford meanwhile was rapidly writing everything the barkeep had said into his journal once he was finished he closed it with a snap.

“thank you.” he said with a nod to the ghost before he took a sip of his drink. Joanie meanwhile rolled her eyes.

“you didn't have to do that sir. Better to let him wallow without ever knowing the answer to his questions. He'll never learn otherwise.” she said with a side long glare at Stanford.

“Hey, I learn through asking questions. If he hadn't told me I just would have asked” he argued. Joanie smirked.

“and I'd tell him not to answer.” she said with a grin in her glass.

“your supposed to make my research easier not prevent it!” stafford complained as he sipped his drink. Joanie beamed.

“ but I'm also to make sure you don't strain yourself Dr.pines.” she suddenly sat up straight, as if presenting something to an audience “I feared that he was overworking himself and took it upon myself to make him take a break sir. I simply could not watch him work himself to the bone.” she let out a pained sigh as she put the back of her hand to her forehead and pretended to swoon. Stanford glared at her in annoyance before he smirked.

“ I guess your done drinking tonight Ms. Smithe.” he said as he pulled her tumbler out of reach and mimicking her pose. “ I had to cut her off she had simply had too much and was becoming a hindrance.” he too pretended to swoon. Joanie didn’t find it very funny.

“that's just low. You're asking for a bloody nose.” Joanie muttered darkly.

“alright alright, no need to get violent.” Stanford said with a quiet chuckle as he pulled out the canteen again. “Just don't drink all of it.” Joanie smiled an poured herself another measure

“ never get between a maritimer and her drink.” she warned with a wink.

“I'll remember that.” Stanford said with a grin. Joanie turned back to the bartender.

“so bartender, just outta curiosity how many ghosts actually live in this town.” Joanie asked as she took a drink.

“bout 700.” he said. Joanie spat out her drink in shock and started choking.

“700?!” she rasped out once her airways were clear.

“ so you pretty much have a Normal population for a town this size but entirely made up of ghosts!” Stanford said in shock before he opened his journal again.

“But we only saw 20 or thirty when we got here?! Where are all the other ghosts?” Joanie asked hoarsely. Suddenly the jovial mood of the room plunged to an attitude as cold and sad as the temperature. Slowly a tall ghost covered in burns floated towards them with a heavy look.

“the year was 1897. The silver mine was at its best and being run by a rich man from Tennessee. He was obsessed with the silver rush. Said we'd be making a fortune. But he cut back on all sorts. Some miners would be down there for days. The rock dust enough to choke the very breath from their bodies. And finally one day there was a terrible gas leak. We had no means of detecting it and one man lit a lamp to see the way out of the tunnel. The whole mine blew up around us. To this day hundreds of soul are trapped in those mines. At night... you can still hear the screamin.” he finished his tale with the final words causing a shiver to run through the patrons, living and dead.

“they can't get out... They can't get home…” Stanford thought out loud quietly. The bartender quietly finished the miner’s tale.

“ and the screams eventually drove the living away. Now we get some folks who stumble across us from time ta time but most folks are afraid of us. Those that ain't usually only care bout the silver that's still in the mines. We drive em away before they cause trouble. You two are the first folks that are actually alright.ya ain't shouting at us or trying to get rid of us. kinda nice ta know there are still kind folks in the living world.” the bartender said as the mood started to creep back into a happier territory.

“you just want to exist in peace with your family and friends.” Stanford said with a sad smile. The barkeep smiled back.

“ I'm glad you see it that way.” he said. Suddenly the last lights of the sun dipped below the horizon and the room began to glow with an eerie teal light. Joanie looked around the room gaping slightly.  
“why is the room glowing?” Joanie asked in awe. The bartender chuckled at her face.

“welp you can't really notice during the day because of the sun but we ghosts glow in the dark.” he said. Stanford started smiling like a madman again as he rapidly recorded everything he was seeing.

“ that's so fascinating! Is the glow related to how visible you are during the day?!” he asked in amazement. The bartender chuckled as he floated through the bar and motioned the pair to follow him towards the entrance.

“ well see its like this. I'm sure Eliza explained how visibility is linked to how strong of a soul you have. Well some of us just don't have strong enough souls to overcome the sun. But when it goes down…” he let his thought trail off as the two exited the tavern into the street. What had once been a cozy but quiet street of a few citizens had turned into a bustling town with hundreds of ghosts milling about. There were wagons and carriages and even horses and dogs that ran to and fro down the main road. The shops were filled with ghosts all perusing and chatting amongst themselves. It truly was a town of ghosts. And all the while the gentle fog that rolled along the road picked up the glow and cast the scene in an eerie but strangely beautiful teal light. Stanford was grinning like a idiot at the scene and couldn’t help but grab Joanies arm and shake her a bit.

“ Joanie Joanie Joanie look!!!” he said excitedly as he stared in childish wonder. Joanie smiled at his antics with a  roll of her eyes.

“I'm looking Stanford.” she said indulgently. Suddenly Stanford mood turned somber “you're going to yell at me.” Stanford whispered to Joanie quietly. Joanie looked at him with a worried frown as she leaned away a bit.

“ wwwhhhyyyy???” she asked worriedly.

“I want to go down and look at that mine.” Stanford said flatly. Joanie said nothing. She let the that statement float in the air for a bit before she let out a long groan of annoyance.Stanford waited until she finally quieted “ listen for a moment before you tell me no. People have been stuck down there in shock for 80 years. Maybe we could help them somehow! maybe show them how to get out by clearing a way. Let them get home or tell their families they're sorry…” Stanford begged. Joanie thought about what he was saying and groaned again. “I'll get permission and help from some of the people in town so we won't have to worry about any surprises from them. we would be very careful in and around the mine. I studied geology and my college roomate had a interest in dangerous materials so I know how to avoid explosions.” Stanford finished and waited for a response. For a long while, Joanie said nothing and Stanford waited to see what kind of reaction he would get. He stood there waiting for several minutes before finally, Joanie let out a tired groan of defeat. Stanford quickly gave her a hug. “ thank you Joanie I'll start getting ready.” he turned away and quickly started thinking of all the things that needed to be done. “ we'll need to talk to a few of the old miners and maybe the sheriff to make sure he doesn't think we're trespassing. I need to make sure we have the flameless equipment and the geiger counter out of my big bag.” he continued all listing all the various necessities. Meanwhile, Joanie watched him walk away already regretting this before it had even begun. As he continued to excitedly talk about his plans she checked on the signal for the satellite phone before quickly jogging to catch up to him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stanford was looking into his pack reviewing his mental checklist just to be certina the pair were properly prepared.

“looks like I have everything. That man from the bar said he'll meet us outside. Sheriff knows the plan.” Stanford listed off before looking at Joanie expectantly “ Did the phone seems to be working last you checked?” he asked. The young woman sighed tiredly in foreboding.

“ this is a terrible idea.” she groaned. Stanford shrugged off her attitude.

“So was the idea of injecting oneself with the disease to avoid getting it. All science seems stupid at some point.” he said before he stopped what he was doing and looked at her “ Are you still okay with it?” he asked worriedly. Joanie shot him a look full of worry and stress.

“look Stanford... I just don't wanna have ta be the one to explain to that nice lady I saw in your wallet why her son is dead. I'm kinda getting sick of saving your life. I get that you have this grand quest for knowledge and all but you take a lot of risks. I can't stop you and wherever you go I'll follow but... just try and be careful this time okay?” she begged putting a hand over her face sighing heavily. Stanford walked up to her and held one of her shoulders.

“ Joanie I'm trying to be careful. I have a way to test for radiation and gas levels. The old miner will go down with us IF we go down at All. he worked down there and knows how to avoid dangerous places. I know how to check if it's unstable and we won't move forward unless it's safe. “ he gave the shoulder a little squeeze of a comfort. “I'm doing this as carefully as possible. I don't want to be the one to tell your army of cousins that you won't be coming back.I know that after the beaver thing.” Stanford finished with a reassuring smile. Joanie sighed dramatically.

“or my five uncles all trained in army combat and my great uncle bucky with his shot gun.” she said matter of fact. Stanford palled a bit and gulped.

“yeah let's agree not to put me on their bad side please.” he said with a waver. Joanie took another deep fortifying breath before releasing it in a big whoosh.

“alright.let's get this show on the road! those ghost aren't gonna save themselves obviously. If they've been down there for 80 years.” she said straightened he back in a show of determination.

“okay. If you want to leave tell me and we'll leave.Or you'll leave and I'll finish what I'm doing then leave. Either way, your opinion is important and will greatly affect my choice.” Stanford said before he grabbed the bag of equipment and headed to the hotel entryway. Joanie watched him leave trying to keep the confident look on her face but she couldn’t hold it for very long before she swallowed worriedly and followed him with a shake of her head. Stanford was waiting at the bottom of the stair expectantly.

“you never answered when I asked about the phone.” he said. Joanie was lost in a thought as she came down and jumped slightly as he spoke

“oh yeah! Yeah, its good. Gave the Rangers our status. Told them to be on standby incase anything drastic happens. Not sure how good the reception will be in the mine though. how deep does it go again?” she asked with a twinge of worry.

“Pretty deep. But from what I gathered we'll only go about 7 meters down at most. That's how deep the epicentre of the explosion was.” Stanford said recalling what the miner had told him earlier. Joanie look at him dryly

“ya know it's a damn good thing I'm not afraid of the dark or have claustrophobia.” she said with deadpan.

“I figured you would tell me if you were.” stafford said with a slight chuckle as they headed out f the hotel together. Outside the hotel their guide was waiting for them. Stanford smiled and waved at the wiry ghost.

“hello, there sir!” Stanford said with barely bottled excitement. The miner grunted in annoyance at his chipper attitude.

“My thoughts exactly” Joanie responded in deadpan. Stanford sighed at bit at both their attitudes.

“let's head out before my coffee wears off and I feel like that too.” Stanford said wearily.

“Professor Wilkinson was right. You do have a serious caffeine addiction.” Joanie complained.

“Hey, I've only had three cups today!” Stanford argued as he adjusted his glasses.

“Wow really? And how many are you going to have tonight? You usually have three morning cups and three evening cups and if it's available you like an espresso shot in the afternoon.” Joanie said with a smirk. Stanford winced a bit and scratched the back of his head.

“okay. Six or seven cups of coffee a day might be a minor issue. But it's not the worst addiction I could have!” he argued. Joanie put a thoughtful finger to her lips.

“True.” she relented. then she smirked “But admitting it is the first step to kicking it!” she said before she snorted and started laughing. Stanford rolled his eyes at her mirth and hitched the backpack further up his shoulders.

“let's just get going.” he said with slight annoyance. Joanie couldn’t hold back her snickering and Stanford huffed a bit. She finally coughed and stalled her laughter but couldn’t hold in her grin.

“alright, let's go.” she finally said through the mirth.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stanford scanned the area around the mine entrance with the geiger counter and nodded over to Joanie.

“Radiation levels are fine.” he stated as the long dead miner came out of the mouth “How'd it look in there John?”

“like it blew up 80 years ago and been rotting ever since but it'll hold up.” John grunted at the excited man.

“Excellent!” Stanford said excitedly moving supplies around in his bag when a shriek sounds from within. Joanie moved closer to him with her own pack on looking paler than before.

“Let's me tell you a story Stanford. When I was a kid there used to be this carnival that came to Georgetown every summer. Wanna know what my least favorite ride was?” she asked nervously

“Sure Joanie.” He acknowledged standing up putting his backpack on with a raised eyebrow. A pained moan inside caused both of them to look into the mine, Joanie gulps.

“The haunted house” she whispered wrapping her arms around herself shaking slightly

“Hey!” John called over to them

“Oh jeez! Sorry, I didn't mean I like that it's just-” Joanie started only to be cut off by a blood curdling screech. “Yeah, that.”

“It is rather unnerving, I can understand if you don't want to come.” Stanford said gently putting a hand on her shoulder.

“Come on girly.” John taunted with a smirk “Don't ya chicken out now.” Joanie glared at him bristling with determination.

“Did... did you just... oh... oh HO HO HO. .. NO! YOU DID NOT JUST CALL ME GIRLY! WELL HOW THIS FOR GIRLY?!” She yells stomping into to the mine until she disappeared from view. “HURRY UP YOU SLOWPOKES!”

“Joanie wait up!” Stanford called rushing to catch up to her followed by a chuckling ghost.

“oh man, it was bad.” Joanie mutters looking around the mine tunnel then back at John. “I mean you made it sound bad but... it was BAD.”

John grunted looking around sadly “the explosion took out almost everyone in the mine. Only the souls lucky enough to be near the exit were able to make it out. Even then some still died... But at least we got to see the sky one more time.” He told them his eyes seeing 80 years in the past until he cleared his throat to finalize his return to the present. “The rot comes from water coming in from the rain and melting snow on the unmaintained wood.”

“so there's faults in the rock. could be dangerous, any kind of impact could send the whole ceiling down.” Joanie started with a frown

“yeah, Be careful not to touch the rocks too much. There are some that will be fine to move and some that will be. Fatal to touch.” John grunted gesturing at some of the rocks.

“Good to know.” Joanie nodded looking around “Hey Stanford?! What's taking so long?!

“No need to shout I'm not that far from you. Just making sure we can find our way out” Stanford said walking up to them with a spool of string and a flashlight in each hand “one for you and one for me.” He states handing her the contents of one hand

“like Perseus in the labyrinth though hopefully, man eating minotaur free.” Joanie said with a smirk “knowing you I just jinxed it.”

“Theseus is the one with the minotaur and string. But I seriously doubt there is anything in this cave except ghosts and us. But just to be safe.” He added knocking on the beam causing a chunk to crumble under his touch.

“what did I just say about touching stuff?!” John scolded him

“be careful Stanford!” Joanie said shoving him lightly

“Sorry didn't realize it would splinter that easily.” Stanford apologized, his ears slightly red

“Let's move on. Before you bury us.” John said gruffly shaking his head.

“Seriously Stanford he was just talking about how delicate this place is.” Joanie sighed “please be careful... please.”

“I'll try to be careful. I promise” He said smiling reassuringly pointing his flashlight further into the mine moving forward with Joanie following closely behind him. The tunnel continued at a downhill incline splitting off at intersections filled with inky blackness, the screams of trapped ghosts, serving as a guide, growing steadily louder.

“are we getting close John?” Stanford asked as a particularly piecing yell cuts through the uneasy silence of the party

“it would seem so.” John stated quietly as uneasy as the other two

“I get that they're tortured souls trapped for all eternity but can they turn it down on the torture bit.” Joanie whispered moving closer to Stanford looking around wided eyed

“We must be getting close.” Stanford said flashing his light around until John came to a stop in front of a stone filled dead end.

“turn off your light for a moment” John instructed. The living pair compiled and the entire room filled with a cracked blue light that seemed to brighten and dim like water flowing through the caved in wall in front of them.

“We found it!” Joanie said a relieved smile flooding over her face.

“now if we can figure out how to convince them to float through the rock.” Stanford said excitedly

“you really think they didn't try floating out of there?” John scoffed irritated “They can't ya idiot it's silver!”

“what about silver repels them?” Joanie inquired her eyebrows drawn together in confusion.

“I'm a miner miss.” John stated plainly “I don't know why but we just can't get through it. It's just as solid as when we're alive. These rocks have silver in 'em or there wouldn't be a mine here”

“So if we want to get them out we have to move some of the rocks out of the way.” Stanford sighed looking up at the wall for a rock that would be safe to move.

“be careful Stanford... the walls aren't exactly steady.” Joanie said watching from behind him

“any advice about what rocks to move?” Joanie shook her head and looked expectantly at the ghost.

“Erm... John?” he floated forward looking over the wall and putting his hand on a few rocks to test their stability finally feeling one with a grunt of acknowledgement.

“this one's not gonna hurt to move.” He stated floating back to let the pair pull it away from the wall, only to reveal another rock behind it.

“this might take a while... can ya help us out with your levitation magic John?” Joanie asked gently. The miner nodded looking at some rocks that begin to glow blue and float away from the cave in.

“This could take some time,” Stanford said moving a rock over to the growing pile off to the side.

“That glow is damn bright. We must be pretty close to the other side now.” Joanie said shielding her eyes from the flowing glow as she looked for another rock to move. A hand suddenly pushed through a gap reaching for them accompanied wail of pain. Stanford moved closer reaching out to touch where it would be if it were solid.

“Hang on we're trying to get you out but we need you to careful or the entire tunnel could cave in!” He explained gently smiling as it disappeared through the gap as it first came out.

“I need the two of you to step back I think I got the last stone. But it's going to be hard to pull.” John said lighting up the stone next to where the hand came from. Joanie and Stanford stepped back standing closed together watching carefully at John took a deep breath. He moved the rock and the pile falls apart to show several Ghostly forms

“There they-” Stanford began until a cracking sound filled the tunnel, He pulled Joanie close to him covering them with his arms as part of the tunnel caved in. A glowing blue light covered the space around their heads like an umbrella as the dust and rocks fell around them. When the cave settled the pair move apart and looked around at the debree

“thanks John. really saved us there.” Joanie said relieved

“be careful it might shift more and I don't know if I can keep doing that for long” John warned tiredly drifting a bit away from the now confused group of ghosts staring at them.

“you can go home now.” Stanford said gently to a ghost that floated toward them. The ghost smiled and moved toward the exit quickly followed by the others who laughed with glee. Finally, only a few ghosts remained one was floating next to john asking questions while Stanford eagerly took notes of the exchange. The other was curled up in a ball against the wall staring at a beam next to Joanie blankly. She looked at him gently and took a few careful steps toward him. The ghost locked eyes with her and floating to a standing position.

“hey there buddy. you alright?” she asked concerned searching his face for clues. He let out a scream swooping into her body and covering her body with red light before she could react. Stanford turned toward the scream shocked to see her eyes staring blankly until they roll to white as a sinister smiles pulls at her lips.

“Joanie!” he mutters breathlessly dropping his journal in shock. Moving toward her as her body was lifted into the air her hair moving around her in slow motion in the red glow around her. He reached forward to grab her as she reached the low ceiling of the cave only to be stopped by a blue beam pulling his hand back.

“Don't touch her! You'll get shoved away by the ghost!” John stated allowing Stanford’s hand to drop from his control.

“Ghost?! What's happening to her?!” Stanford asked pulling on his hair.

“She's been possessed! There's nothing we can do!” John said pushing the ghost he was talking to out and starting to follow.

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE’S NOTHING WE CAN DO?!” Stanford yelled as several small rocks started to float up toward Joanie’s body floating around her like a tornado.

“the ghost has to gives up his hold on her! He doesn't seem to be in the mood to let go of her so we can't do anything! we need to get out of here before it causes another cave in!” John yelled back starting down the tunnel quickly scared of being trapped. Stanford watched him leave then turned back to Joanie’s body as dust started to fall from the ceiling in a dangerous way. He tugged his hair trying to think of a plan.

‘the ghost has to gives up his hold on her’ He thought noting how Joanie’s hands were in shaking fists. ‘We can get caught in some mirrors’ he thought patting his pockets until he found the round metal disk he was searching for. ‘It's just as solid as when we're alive.’ he grabbed it in his fist leaving it in his pocket

“HEY I WANT TO TALK TO YOU!!” he yelled to the Joanie’s floating body stepping in front of it still several feet away. Joanie’s white eyes turned toward him and her eyebrow cocks in amusement.

“Stanford Pines! Oh, she's mad that you haven't left.” The ghost chuckles with a mix of both Joanie and a more masculine voice.

“Why are you doing this?” Stanford asked desperately “Let my friend go and you can go be with the rest of the town.”

“I've been a ghost. It's done me no good. I want to be human again.” the voice replied looking at the rocks floating around “and this power is a wonderful a bonus. I could kill you with a flick of my hand if I wanted to” Joanie flinched suddenly her face contorting into a sneer “quit struggling against me! I'm more powerful than you!”

“giving you some trouble?” Stanford asked with a smirk “Joanie really is a fighter and will fight you until the day you let her go. I'm honestly more concerned for your safety than hers. But I'm prepared to offer you a deal. I'm a healthy young man with a minor coffee addiction and a willing body. You let her go and get her out of here unharmed and you can have my body I won't fight you or cause you any problems.”

“What about her? She won’t let me stay in your body” the voice said considering the offer

“Oh, she won't hurt you because she'll know it'll hurt me” Stanford explained dismissively “I'm sure you can feel how much the idea of this plan is annoying her.” Joanie’s face froze in thought then a wide smile broke across it.

“oh yes, it is. But why are you doing this?” the ghost asked suspiciously

“I just want her to be safe.” Stanford explained pleadingly “I don't care about me if she's safe. so just lower her down and climb on into my body.” The ghost cackled lowering Joanie to a standing position and floating out of it as it slumped to the mine’s hard floor. As the ghost swooped down, Stanford pulled out the medal disk clicking it open to reveal a compact mirror raised like a shield. The ghost flowed right into it with a shriek and Stanford clicked it closed and dropped to his knees with a relieved laugh. “it  worked” He sighed as he pulled out his flashlight, putting the compact in his pocket, and crawled over to Joanie. He checked her vitals to find that she was still alive, the rocks overhead creaked again and he quickly grabbed their supplies and carried her out of the cave.  
  
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Joanie slowly returned to the world of consciousness an it took her a moment to remember what happened. She painfully opened her eyes for a moment before her stiffened muscles relaxed. She was in a sterile blue hospital room, not the grimy rotten mine. As she focused on her limbs, making sure everything still worked she felt the gentle hold of a six fingered hand. She tiredly squeezed Stanford hadn to get his attention but her hand seemed only to twitch.

“Stanford. …” Joanie whispered weakly. Thankfully that got the man’s attention.

“Joanie?! Oh, thank goodness you're awake! Are you okay?! Should I call the doctor?! I haven't called you family yet should I do that?! You really scared me! You had a bump on your head and you were barely breathing and and.” Stanford took a deep breath to calm himself from his panic “I'm glad your up.” he finished as he looked at her with a worried smile. Joanie couldn’t help but weakly chuckle at his outburst. But her mirth was short lived.

“Stanford... never try to sacrifice yourself for me again.” Joanie said with a tired frown. Stanford tried to shake off her serious attitude with a chuckle.

“I make no promises... Besides I had a plan and it worked.” he said showing of the compact mirror, now taped shut heavily with duct tape. Joanie wouldn’t let it slide.

“ I serious Stanford! You had no way of knowing if your plan would work or not! You could have been killed!” she said harshly despite how weak she was feeling.

“Not killed just possessed and I didn't want you getting hurt for my stupid idea.And I figured it would work.” he argued.

“Stanford.” Joanie said with a glare.

“What?” he snapped glaring back just as hard. Joanie huffed.

“remember what I said about taking risks.” Joanie said with a sigh as she let her eyes close. “try to remember that one of us is replaceable.” Stanford squeezed her hand.

“Joanie Marie-Ann Evelyn Smithe look at me.” he said quietly. Joanie opened her eyes and looked at him slightly shocked. He looked at her with sad eyed.

“You are not replaceable.Why in the world would you think that?” he asked worriedly. Joanie couldn’t contain her melancholy sighs.

“I'm just an intern is a sea of people who want to be your intern.” Joanie turned her face away from him “the only reason I got the job is because Wilkinson knew my mom and felt sorry for me.”

“Okay. But who else could have saved my life-” he paused to count on his fingers just to be sure “five times? Who else would have know so much about local lore? Who would yell at me for being stupid? Who else would be my best friend? Joanie, you're important to me. You aren't replaceable.” he finished with insistence. Joanie couldn’t help it. Her lips twitched upwards into a little sad smile but she still shook her head.

“doesn't make me feel better about you throwing your life away for me.I still feel like your less replaceable than me.” she argued.

“It was reckless but going down there was worth it in the long run. I got a ton of research done and we helped so many people move on.” he said with a grin. There was a comfortable silence for a bit before Joanie got an idea and smiled tiredly up at him.

“hey... let's make a pact.” he said with a little smile.

“what kind of pact?” Stanford asked in confusion with a raised eyebrow.

“if one of us dies that one has to come back and haunt the other until they die.” Joanie explained. Stanford laughed a bit.

“I can agree to that.” he said with a big smile on his face. Joanie mirrored it as best she could in her drained state.

“sixth finger swear?” she offered as she stuck out her pinkie. Stanford chuckled as she stuck out his last finger.

“pinkie swear.” he said as he wrapped his finger around hers and they shook it.

“oh, you do consider it a pinkie. Welp, I hope you realise that you're going to be haunting me. Not only are you hopelessly reckless but women live longer than men.” Joanie said with a smirk.

“makes no difference to me I'll be dead.” Stanford said with a chuckle.

“So, when did you break into my wallet?” Joanie asked feigning minor annoyance “Just about an 5 hours ago. They needed me to fill out paperwork And I wasn't sure when your birthday was or anything. So I had to look in it.” Stanford said sheepishly.

“bet you thought I was self centered when you first saw my mom's picture.” Joanie said as she slowly started pulling herself more upright.

“Not really, her eyes aren’t quite right and you never wear blue” He chuckled slightly checking the clock on the wall

“Welp. Now you know all my secrets. All I got from your wallet was that you really liked this pancake place in New Jersey and that you love your mom. also, your drivers license photo is awful. You look like you were run over before getting it taken.” Joanie said with a slight chuckle. Stanford laughed a bit.

“I almost was! My brother was kinda a lousy driver.” he said thinking back.

“Nice.” Joanie said with a grin “ I was prohibited from ever obtain a drivers license in P.E.I on account of all the times I crashed into things on my uncles ATV. But I have a boating license. If you ever need somebody to take you out on the water I'm your girl.” she said with a wink.

“I'll keep that in mind.” Stanford said with a smile. As the pair quieted down a nurse walked into the room. She noticed that Joanie was awake and smiled brightly.

“oh. Ms. Smithe. You're awake. How are you feeling?” she asked as she stepped forwards and started measuring all of her vitals  on the various machines.  
“Tired. can I have some Meds now?” the young woman begged sweetly. The nurse let out a little chuckle.

“if you really need it honey but I'm sure once your brother leaves for the night you'll settle right down.” she wrote a few notes on Joanie's chart before she smiled at the pair. “you look like you're doing okay. I'm just gonna tell the doctor you're awake.” she said before she left the room again. Joanie looked over at Stanford with a little smirk.

“well that sounded like a very passive aggressive attempt to kick you out Mr. Smithe,” Joanie said with a wink. Stanford rolled his eyes before he stood up.

“Yeah, it did. Are you good for the night?” he asked. Joanie yawned a bit.

“yeah.see ya in the morning.then I guess we'll be moving on eh?” she asked tiredly.

“If you're ready to.” Stanford said with a short nod. He turned to leave but then he stopped and look back to her “ sleep well Joanie” he smiled a bit.

“I will. and Stanford, thanks.” Joanie said sincerely as her eyelids started to droop a bit.

“Any time Joanie.” Stanford said with a smile before he left Joanie to her sleep. She's slowly drifted off with a smile on her face.


	5. PEACHLAND, BRITISH COLUMBIA

D~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~I~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~A

Joanie slid her sunglasses down her nose and looked at Stanford with raised eyebrows and a wide smile as the taxi they were in drove through Dawson city's streets. “wait we're going where?! Say that again! I can't have heard you right!”

“We're going to visit your family. You've had a rough couple of weeks and you deserve a break.” Stanford repeated the same message he had been saying for the whole ride with a smile. Joanie pulled him into as close to a hug as they could get in the cramped backseat.

“Oh thank you! You're the best!” she laughed happily finally releasing him a moment later to fix his now askew glasses with a chuckle.

“Okay okay calm down we still have to get there first.” he said fixing his jacket as Joanie bounced next to him excitedly

“oh man I'm-” Joanie stopped talking as she read a sign on the side of the road. ”wait we're taking a plane?” She asked shakily her face pale

”Yes.” Stanford answered pulling out the tickets from his coat “It's a long bus trip and the plane tickets weren't that expensive so I figured we could just do this.”

“I hope you don't mind broken fingers.” She responded weakly

“Why would I have broken fingers?” he asked looking at her confused

“you'll see.” Joanie swallowed roughly as he studied her in confusion

“you looked like you did before we went into the mine” he pauses finally understanding “are you scared?”

“yes. I'm terrified of flying in airplanes.” she explained trying to breathe calmly

“what?! Why didn't you tell me?! I would have gotten bus tickets or something” he asked wide-eyed

“it's too late now…” she said taking a deep breath “it's okay. I can do this. It’s just flying in a massive tin can thousands of meters in the air with engines that could fail at any second and turbulence that could rip the ceiling off and winds that could blow us into a mountain!” she explained her breath rapidly approaching hyperventilation as she gripped her hair tightly in her panic.

“Joanie it's okay. Just breathe with me” Stanford said gently as he grabbed her hands away from her hair while taking deep breaths for her to follow “in, out, in, out, in, ow ow ow” he said trying to wiggle out of her vice-like grip on his hand.

“Don't. Let. Go.” Joanie growled out with her eyes closed and her breath now close to being even

“Yes ma'am…” he said holding still despite the cracking of his fingers silently suffering through the rest of the ride

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Joanie gripped the rim of a garbage can in the airport arrival bay and emptied her stomach violently.  
“Uuuggghhh....” she groaned and let her head rest on the rim. Meanwhile, Stanford held out a small cup of water and some nausea medication with a sympathetic frown.

“Hopefully this will help with nausea” he offered. Joanie looked up at him then took the meds happily before swallowing the water and pills. After a while, she cleared her throat and groaned again.

“ugh... I hate planes. at least someone is coming to pick us up. I called one of my aunts but I'm not sure who they said would come. I can't remember... did I pass out on the plane? my memory's kinda fuzzy…” Joanie asked. Stanford thought for a moment then winced with a nod

“you passed out after takeoff and came out of it before we landed. Probably why you threw up sudden altitude after passing out is not good on the body. “Stanford said as he looked around the small airport for someone looking like Joanie. In Fact, the woman that approached them was tall and blond with a small round nose.

“Joanie.” the woman said with a grin. Joanie quickly stood and whipped around with a huge smile. the pair stared for a moment before both squealed loudly in a happy shrieky hug.

“KATHLEEN!!!!”

“JOANIE!!!!”  
Stanford meanwhile was holding his ears with a painful wince. After a while, the screaming reduced in volume and Stanford stepped forward with the luggage and a tentative smile.

“you're very excited judging by the damage to my ears…” he said with a grin.

“I haven't seen Kathleen in ten years! Last time we were teen bopping midgets! Ha!” Joanie said with a wide smile.

“Hey! I was almost six feet! You were the midget!” Kathleen argued as she proved her height over Joanie by straightening her spine. She rose a good foot over the woman with a grin. Joanie frowned in annoyance up at her. Stanford couldn't hold back a chuckle.

“ so was this worth the plane ride?” Stanford asked. Kathleen grinned and motioned to Joanie.

“did she puke on you? Last time she came down with great uncle ray she threw up ALL OVER him.” Kathleen revealed with a cheeky grin.

“Kathleen!” Joanie yelped with a blush. The blond just grinned more.

“ thankfully no. She was... out of it for most of the trip.” Stanford explained. Joanie puffed up in anger and punched the blond.

“Kathleen! don't embarrass me!” Joanie complained. Kathleen just punched the brunette back.

“I'm family! It's my job!” she shouted before she turned towards the entrance. “come on. Cars just out here. David just got a radio installed too.”

“Oooooooo! Man... I wish I had a rich husband that showered me with fancy expensive gifts.” Joanie complained quietly. Kathleen laughed at her moping face even as she pushed open the doors revealing a flashy cherry red BMW convertible.

“You should have stayed in the Okanagan. There are lots of rich sons of vineyard owners looking for down to earth wives to spend money on! Ha!” Kathleen said happily “ Oh I'm only joking. David is wonderful.” Kathleen said as she climbed into the driver's seat. Stanford stared at the car with wide eyes before he adjusted the luggage in his hands.

“ where do you want me to put these?” he asked.

“just hold them in the back. So anyways Joanie you came at the perfect time.” Kathleen said as Joanie climbed into the front seat and propped her feet up on the dashboard

“ huh?” the woman asked. Kathleen smacked her shins in annoyance.

“get your feet off the dash! That's imported leather!” she hollered. Joanie smirked then sighed and took her feet off, grinning cheekily even as Kathleen reached over to brush invisible dirt, glaring at her the whole time. After she finished that she put the car into a drive with a roar of the engine and the three drove off.

“Anyways, as I was saying, it's great aunt Laura’s birthday today,” Kathleen shouted over the wind. Joanie thought for a moment then laughed.

“oh hey yeah! Yeesh, I totally forgot!” Joanie yelled back. Stanford meanwhile sat back and enjoyed the scenery.

“ Ha.” Kathleen said with a snort “ Fifteen dollars says you didn't even know when her birthday was.” Joanie took out her sunglasses and leaned her head back.

“ Ya got me,” Joanie admitted. The blond rolled her eyes. Suddenly Joanie looked up ahead and smirked looking back to Stanford.

“ oi, Stanford! cover your ears!” Joanie advised before stuffing her fingers into her own ears. Stanford looked at her confused.

“Cover my wha- Ow!” Stanford suddenly yelped as his ears suddenly started ringing and throbbing painfully. “what the heck was that!?” he asked as the ringing died down a bit. Kathleen tilted her head back with a laugh.

“oh did your ears pop? Yeah, that happens to people who aren't used to the foothills. So where abouts are you from, Stanford? What's your story? How did you two meet anyways? Is it saucy?” she asked with wiggling eyebrows?  
“KATHLEEN!?” Joanie shrieked, turning an impressive red.

“What?” Kathleen asked with a fake innocent smile. Stanford had also turned a light pink.

“Erm, I'm a scientist from New Jersey. Joanie is my intern and saucy is not the word for our meeting. I passed out.” he admitted. Kathleen, however, seemed only to notice the last part of his explanation. She gasped with mock horror.

“ Joanie! Drugging people is not the way to get a date!’ she admonished. The intern was not amused.

“KATHLEEN SHUT UP RIGHT NOW OR I WILL KEY YOUR CAR!” she threatened angrily. That just seemed to make Kathleen laugh harder as she turned on to a bridge that seemed to be floating on the surface of a very large lake.

“I passed out because I had pneumonia,” Stanford explained. “I'm not used to the cold here. Joanie had nothing to do with it.” Kathleen just chuckled.

“ Oh, I'm just picking on Joanie. I'm sure you two have a perfectly healthy non-drug related relationship,” she said with a smile. Joanie glared at her cousin in deadpan.

“sometimes I hate you, Kathleen,” Joanie said plainly. Kathleen chuckled again as they turned off the bridge onto a road that ran along the edge of the lake. A small boardwalk dotted with shops and tourist stops was mirrored by a gorgeous vista of sparkling blue water. The lake beaches were scattered with parks and food stalls. Seeming in the middle of it all was a grassy courtyard with a strange statue of a serpent, similar in shape to the loch ness monster. Stanford leaned forward with a grin.

“ Joanie what is that statue of?!” he asked excitedly. Joanie's reaction was far from positive as she paled dramatically. Kathleen was blissfully ignorant of this as she smiled.

“oh that's our local lake monster the Ogopogo,” Kathleen said. Joanie tried in vain to stop her cousin, rapidly shaking her head and making several cutting motions against her throat, but to no avail. “He's quite the famous little sea serpent. Some people say he's related to the Loch Ness monster!” she said with a bright smile. Joanie let her face fall into her hands in defeat and tried to think of a way to salvage the coming situation.

“interesting... “Stanford said quietly as he quickly jotted down the information into his journal “Where is he said to live? Out of curiosity.” he asked still writing away. Joanie groaned at all the ways Stanford was making it worse.

“he supposedly lives in an underwater cave somewhere on the other side of the lake from here. Divers go down all the time looking for him. No luck yet but they've found plenty of caves.” Kathleen said as she waited for a light to turn green before driving on.

“Very Interesting,” Stanford said before he closed his journal with a snap. Only then did he see Joanie's position and laugh a bit. “Don't worry Ms. Smithe I won't ruin your visit with my investigation.” those words set off a chain of reactions Stanford had not expected. Kathleen slammed on the breaks with a squeal, causing everyone in the car to lurch forward. Several cars behind them squealed to a halt as well and honked. Some drivers even flipped Kathleen off as they passed. Kathleen didn't seem to care as she turned to Stanford furious.

“excuse me?! What kinda investigation?!” she demanded. Stanford shrunk back in slight fear. Joanie meanwhile reached out to calm her cousin.

“relax Kathy. I'll explain later. Please let's just get to the party so I can say hI to all my cousins and aunts and uncles.” Joanie said with a weak smile before she turned to Stanford and leaned forward talking lowly. “ we'll talk later” she ground out. Stanford just nodded as the car began to move again very confused as to what had just happened. Soon the car turned down a short road before turning again up a very steep hill. At the very top sat an impressive arrow shaped Vista overlooking the lake and the valley. Joanie smiled wide and hopped out of the car as Kathleen parked amid the sea of cars. Stanford followed after her now nervous about being alone with Kathleen. As Joanie opened the door a great cheer came from within.

“JOANIE!!!!!!!” the crowd of people cheered. Joanie couldn't keep the few tears that sprang up from showing.

“Hey guys!!!!” she beamed happily. She was soon surrounded by a huge crowd of people. They all wanted hugs and kisses on the cheek and to look at her good and proper. Joanie navigated the swarm with practiced ease before arriving in front of her great aunts.

“Happy birthday great aunt Laura!” Joanie said with a wide grin giving the gray-haired woman a smile and kiss on the cheek.

“Joanie dear. So glad to hear you were coming. I hear you brought a special someone along…” she finished with a cheeky smile. Joanie turned red.

“WHAT?! WHO TOLD YOU THAT?!” she yelped nervously.

“Guilty.” aunt Betty said chuckling. Joanie was not amused.

“ AUNT BETTY!” she yelled hoarsely

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stanford looked at the sea of people in front of him already feeling kind of out of place. But still, he could see Joanie's smile as she walked around and felt his own lips twitch upwards .suddenly a short elderly woman with very thick magnifying glasses, bent heavily over her walker, stood before him. Stanford held her suspicious gaze for several seconds, uncertain what was expected of him when her wrinkled face shifted into a smile.  
“yes I think you'll do nicely.” the woman said shakily as she gripped at Stanford's coat with surprising strength

“um greetings ma'am... I'm not sure what you mean.” Stanford admitted as he was pulled down to her eye level feeling incredibly awkward.

“ well for my liten mus of course. Can't have her flapping about with some brottslig!” she insisted. She then pinched his cheek and shook it slightly. “but you seem like a lovely young herreman.” she continued to pinch his cheek with a happy chuckle.

“Great great aunt Lucille? Where are you?” Joanie called out from somewhere. The woman quickly released Stanford, now with a pink cheek, and looked around the room.

“ I'm coming liten mus! “ the elderly woman called before she turned into the crowd and seemed to disappear. Joanie quickly sneaked out from behind a wall near Stanford and winced at his cheek.

“ sorry bout that. She's as crazy as a loon. She’s a hundred and something and was raised in Sweden in her early childhood. She called you a gentleman and 'liten mus' means 'little mouse'. there's a story to that nickname that I've completely forgotten.” Joanie explained as Stanford rubbed his cheek a bit with a wince.

“ it's fine She's… sweet.” Stanford decided before he looked around a bit “But I do have one question” Stanford started before he dropped his volume down to a hoarse whisper

“why do they think we're a couple?!” Joanie groaned and whispered back with a touch of anger.

“I don't know! I mean seriously I barely mentioned you in passing on my phone call! I think great aunt Betty just exaggerated to make great aunt Laura happy. ..or maybe they've all gone senile. either way I don't think is gonna be over any time soon. this side of my family has a nickname: the mules.” Joanie explained sympathetically. Stanford sighed a bit before stretching his neck out.

“do we want to set them straight or just play along?” he asked. Joanie opened her mouth to respond but never got the chance.

“OH! I FOUND THEM!” aunt Betty cried out to the family “ oh you two you don't have to whisper in an alcove! Come on Joanie introduce the family to this charming fella!”

“Aunt Betty. ..” Joanie grounded out warningly. Her aunt ignored her or just didn't hear and whistled loudly to gain everyone's attention.

“ Alright, everyone! Joanie has something to say!” she said before she stood aside. Joanie smiled weakly at all the faces staring at them

“thanks great aunt Betty” Joanie sarcastically muttered to her aunt through the side of her mouth. Betty either didn't catch the sarcasm or chose to ignore it.

“anytime dear. Now?” she asked expectantly. Joanie sighed then turned to the crowd.

“ everybody I'd like you to meet my dear FRIEND Dr.Stanford pines P.H.D. he's my employer,” Joanie said clearly.

“Oh! How scandalous!” Laura exclaimed with a grin. Joanie could only wince and blush at that comment before she looked at Stanford.

“Stanford this is my family! Great aunts Betty, Ruby, and Laura.” the three little old ladies smiled and waved at him pleasantly.

“ Hello dear.” Ruby said

“ Great great aunt Lucille!” Joanie said with an awkward smile in the ancient woman's direction. Lucille smiled happily waving to Stanford from her position sitting on her walker.

“ such a sweet little herreman!” she said causing several people to chuckle a bit. Joanie winced yet again.

“the twins, Kevin and Peter,” she said gesturing to a pair of identical brunette men. The men just grinned mischievously.

“ he's not Kevin I am!” one cried in annoyance.

“And You call yourself our cousin.” the other said with a put-upon sigh. Joanie didn't find it funny.

“you're identical! How am I suppose to tell you apart when great aunt Betty never could?!” she asked. The family collectively laughed loudly as Betty blushed a bright pink.

“I'm only joking, I am Kevin.” the first said with a grin. Joanie grunted a bit in annoyance

“moving on. That's cousin Mary and her seven kids.” she said. The woman she gestured to tiredly waved at the pair as seven small children of several different ages all tried to gain her attention at once. Joanie winced in sympathy and leaned over to Stanford.

“I can never remember the kids' names.” Joanie admitted, “ then there's Kathleen, who you met.” Kathleen just rolled her eyes at Joanie's antics. “Then there's cousins Tammy, Sue, Roy, John, Anthony, and Lucy. Also Rick, Ron, Marcus, Mark, Warren, Bob, Clara, Rose, Justin, Julie, and Clark. Plus a whole bunch more cousin's that I never really met properly and that's my family! At least this side of it.” Joanie said rapid fire. Stanford was reeling a bit from all the names and faces before yet another voice came from behind them.

“what am I? A next-door neighbor?” the male called out. Joanie gasped then whipped around and beamed up at the burly, white-bearded man behind her then threw herself at him for a hug.

“UNCLE BUCKY!!” she squealed. The man chuckled happily before he crushed her into his own hug.

“ How's my little princess?” he asked with a grin.

“quite well thanks! Hey Stanford!” Joanie cried before she pulled Stanford to her side grinning wide “this is my great uncle Bucky! He's pretty much the Greatest uncle ever!” Bucky looked at him and smiled before extending his hand out for a shake.

“nice ta meet ya…” Bucky said and Stanford took the hand.

“ nice to meet you too sir. Joanie's told me a lot about you” Stanford said with a smile. Suddenly the grip grew painfully tight. Stanford gulped as Bucky leaned in really close looking dangerous.

“ if you ever hurt my little princess I'll use your intestines for boot laces.” he threatened darkly. Stanford could only swallow and nod

“Understood sir,” Stanford said weakly. The elderly man looked at him harshly.

“so we understand each other.” he said before he slapped Stanford on the back painfully “good talk.” with that he crushed Stanford’s hand with a few painful sounding popping noises and walked away into the crowd. Stanford crumpled into himself holding his hand with a whimper.

“what's with people trying to break my hand today?” he asked nobody in particular “Honestly the Qalupaliks had less of a grip and they almost killed me!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Across the room, Joanie sat with her three aunts as they enjoyed their merlot.  
“isn't it a bit risky dating your employer sweetheart?” Betty asked as she twirled her glass to make the liquid breath.

“Oh for! We're not a couple!” Joanie insisted in annoyance. The aunts just chuckled.

“then why were you two whispering away in that little nook. That looked like two lovebirds to me!” Ruby gossiped with a grin.

“We were trying to have a private conversation in a public place!” Joanie argued.

“girls stop picking on the poor girl!” Laura cried over her sisters. Joanie sighed in relief glad to finally have one of them on her side.

“ thank you, aunt Laura,” Joanie said happily.

“We should be getting a picture for the love wall!” Laura finished with a giggle. Joanie groaned and let her head hit the table in front of her with a thump.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The twins grinned at each other as the noticed Stanford standing alone in a corner.  
“so Stanford.” one said sliding up to her right

“What do you study?” the other asked leaning to his left.

“Erm statistical anomalies,” Stanford said looking between the two. “ Things that shouldn't exist according to math but do somehow.” both twins grinned cheekily.

“ha! You know they used to say twins were unnatural!” one said.

“Back in Europe they would kill whichever one was smaller and weaker because they believed it was a demon child!” the other finished.

“I did know that.” Stanford explained “My third or maybe my forth doctoral thesis was on twins.” he couldn't help the ironic chuckle from coming forth “ But I think the stronger twin would be more likely to be a demon as it would be feeding off the child's life force.” Joanie noticed the trio in the corner and groaned and walked over.

“are these two bothering you with weird history facts? Kevin is a history teacher at the local high school. He likes to fling bonus questions at everybody to throw them off guard.” she complained crossing her arms and glaring at the pair

“hey Joanie! Name ten Canadian prime ministers!” they both said in unison. Joanie rose an eyebrow then grinned sarcastically.

“well, there was” she started pretending to think “no.” she snapped finally causing the twins to burst out laughing.

“ah, that's good Ole Joanie. Still slacking off. Did you know she got kicked out of three universities?” one of the brothers began. Joanie blushed looking down

“shut up.” she said quietly through grit teeth

“haha yeah! She got kicked out of the second one for stealing from her Professor.” the other twin continued

“stop.” Joanie growled out softly.

“and the third for blackmailing a fellow student!” the first twin continued ignoring her discomfort. Joanie continued to stare at her shoes her face red as she swallowed down her shame.

“and the last one was when she tricked everybody in her class into giving her all their research papers so she could write her essay based off their findings.” the twins finished clearly not noticing that Joanie continued to shrink into herself. Her arms slowly wrapping around her middle as if to simulate a hug or keep out a cold wind.

“Oh but don’t let our taunting get to ya.” the first twin said punching her shoulder lightly

“We love our cous. She's the best lowlife criminal we ever met!” The twins walked off laughing leaving the pair to their own thoughts

“I don't like those two…” Stanford said with a scowl turning to Joanie concerned “are you okay Ms. Smithe?” he said gently reaching out to comfort her then changing his mind in favor of putting his hands in his pockets.

“you know I didn't really steal from my Professor... I drove his car into a swimming pool as I was leaving campus... so yeah I hijacked his car but I didn't really steal it…” Joanie justified with her arms crossed still moping “and I was only blackmailing that guy so I could pay for food and someplace to live… besides, he was a huge jerk. He deserved to get brought down a few pegs. .. Kevin and Peter are just jerks…” she finished with a huff causing Stanford to chuckle.

“I've heard worse.” he said smiling “At least you didn't make a deal with a demon or start a cult then forget about it or steal someone's identity or forget to wear pants to class because you were up late studying for the exam and woke up five minutes before you had to be there,” he said still smiling despite Joanie’s horrified face.

“what college did YOU Go to?” she asked him shocked

“Backupsmore University... Why?” he responded plainly causing Joanie to wince slightly

“well I'm never going to that school…” Joanie shuddered as they were suddenly surrounded by family members and blinded by a camera flash.

“SAY CHEESE!!!!” Aunt Betty yelled loudly taking another picture with another blinding flash causing Joanie and Stanford to bump into each other blindly then immediately jump apart to avoid more assumptions about their relationship.

“Ow! Oh, my eyes! I'm blind! Kathy! KATHY!” Joanie called blinking along with Stanford trying to get the spots to clear.

“What was that for?” Stanford asked Joanie fixing his glasses as the aunts study the polaroid.

“Well, that looks awful!” Betty declared readying the camera again “Come on you two! Get in close!” she said as other family members moved in and push them toward each other causing Joanie to growl.

“Aunt Betty,” she said through grit teeth

“Now smile!” Betty commanded looking through the eyepiece at the now purposefully frowning couple. Another blinding flash causing Joanie to once again try to stop the fussing aunts as they wait for the photo to develop.

“AUNT BETTY! STOP TAKING PICTURES!” she yelled as her companion looked for a way out to clear his head.

“I'm going to step outside…” Stanford took a few steps toward the back door still blinking away spots.

“oh dear it's alright! You don't have to be embarrassed! You and Joanie look so sweet together!” Laura said blocking his exit and cornering him closer to the camera again

“AUNT LAURA!!!” Joanie yelled

“Me and Joanie aren't a couple!” Stanford yelled throwing his hands up in the air “Ha! No! Never! Never in a million years!” he continued stomping past the now very stunned family to the door letting it slam behind him in his rush. All eyes turned to Joanie as her eye twitched in visible annoyance

“Never... never in... Oh... OH NO!!! NO WAY!” she yelled getting louder as she stomped out of the house irritated.

“he's a dead man” Peter and Kevin coursed with a snicker

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stanford walked through the yard trying to get away from the house to calm down. He was almost out of space when he heard the door slam again and turned to see a figure in red coming toward him quickly. He sighed relieved to see Joanie thinking that they would calm down together then go back in and explain the situation.  
“WHAT THE HELL DOES NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS MEAN!” she yelled as soon as she was close.

“it means your family is insane and stubborn!” he yelled back still irritated by the whole situation “I had to get my point across! They would never have listened if I said it differently!”

“I DON'T CARE! DO YOU KNOW HOW INSULTING THAT WAS! WHAT? AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH! EH! IS THAT WHAT IT IS! MAYBE YOU'RE EMBARRASSED BY THE THOUGHT OF BEING ASSOCIATED WITH A MEASLY LITTLE INTERN! MAYBE I SHOULD LEAVE AND COME BACK WHEN I HAVE MY DOCTORATE AND I'M WORTHY TO BE IN THE GREAT STANFORD FILBRICK PINES' MIGHTY PRESENCE!”

“that's not what I meant and you know it!” he growled out gripping his hair trying to figure out what to say

“Do I know that?!” she shouted then took a breath before continuing “Sometimes I wonder if you think at all before you say things! Did you not realize how that might have sounded! If you're going to belittle me like that I'm not sure I want to travel with you anymore! You’re just so....” she said turning away with most of her anger gone

“Wait Joanie!” he said gently grabbing her arm to get her attention “I'm sorry…” he said softly as she pulled her arm away taking another step and stopping with a sigh.

“I'm not leaving... I just need some space... just…” she started not looking at him “I'm going back in... just give me a few minutes…” she continued walking back to the house. Stanford waited until she got inside to start pacing falling into his own mind until he was walking the sand of a familiar beach again.

”I don’t understand why she is so upset” he muttered to himself

“because you told her you never be a couple sixer” a gruff voice in his head replied “ya Never were good with the girls”

“but she's not interested” Stanford muttered back

“doesn't matter” the figure's shoulders shrugged from the familiar swing “you still called her unworthy of you”

“what no! She's way too good for me!” Stanford exclaimed frustrated “did she really think I was insulting her?”

“Yep,” the figure said chuckling “and now you need to fix it.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Joanie re-entered the house with a heavy sigh feeling drained from her yelling. Her great-uncle stepped forward ominously.  
“ kid still breathing?” he asked gruffly.

“Yeah,” Joanie said with a raised eyebrow not certain what he thought would happen. Suddenly he pulled out a shotgun from somewhere and pumped it with a dark look.

“not for long.” the man said grimly

“UNCLE BUCKY PUT THE SHOTGUN DOWN!” Joanie screamed in a panic. The old man seemed to pout a bit before he complied, resting it in the coat cabinet by the door. Joanie watched him, making sure he walked away, then went back into the house. The main room was mostly empty now, most of the family moving into the back porch and balcony. Only the aunts remained in the parlor drinking wine and chatting amongst themselves. Aunt Laura saw Joanie first.

“Oh Joanie dear.” she beckoned and Joanie walked over to the three women “ your back... I'm sorry. for how we behaved I mean. it's not really any of our business.” she admitted.

“ Naw it's okay... you're family. it's your job to be overbearing and annoying.” Joanie said earning a chuckle from the three.

“I suppose I was just so happy when Betty said there was a boy with you. it's been six years after all…” she said trailing off as the sisters all thought back to their youngest brother. “I suppose I thought you'd finally let someone in again…” she said. Joanie looked away towards the sunset shining on the lake.

“ I'm fine by myself,” she said quietly. The three looked at each other worriedly before Laura shook her head with a sigh.

“ you keep saying that Joanie. but I can't believe you when you look so heartbroken.” her aunt said as she placed a gentle hand on Joanie's cheek.

“I'm fine.” Joanie insisted. The woman now looked at her slightly annoyed, having heard nothing but that statement from her niece for five years.

“well, whatever your relationship is with that boy I hope you two stay together.” Laura said smiling lightly at her wine glass “ I saw you actually smiling today Joanie. it's been a long time.”

“Yeah…” Joanie said quietly before suddenly Betty was holding a wine glass out to her as she smiled a little.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stanford abandoned his self-pity to stare out at the water thinking about what Kathy had told him earlier about the monster of the deep.  
“I wonder why I'm not able to investigate the Ogopogo…” Stanford said to himself taking a step towards the water “no, Joanie said she'd be right back, I need to wait here” he argued looking at the house “but she was really upset…” he continued looking out at the water “how upset would she be if I left…”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Joanie suddenly felt the air around her neck cool as the hair up the back rose up and she abruptly stood, somehow artfully saving every drop of jostled wine. The aunts all jumped lightly at her sudden uprightness  
“ what's wrong dear,” Laura asked with a frown.

“Stanford just did something stupid... I can feel it... deep in my bones…” Joanie said darkly before she stomped towards the door like a woman on a warpath “ stupid... idiot... annoying... dying... running off... world’s stupidest genius. ..” she muttered before she slammed the door behind her yet again.

“I used to be able to do the same thing with my second husband,” Ruby said with a wistful look.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stanford was pulled from his debate by the door slamming and a flash of red moving toward him. ‘now we can talk and put this whole mess behind us.’ he thought lightly until he noticed how fast she was moving and the dark expression on her face  
“shit what did I do now” he muttered to himself as she got close

“whatever you're thinking stop it! It's a stupid idea!” Joanie commanded angrily

“I was just thinking of going to the harbor to find out more about the Ogopogo. I wasn't going to do anything overly stupid” he explained putting his hands up in surrender

“you were gonna go without me... I could feel it…” she growled out “besides... you can't research the Ogopogo! Of all the creatures across all of Canada this is the only one you can't look into!” she exclaimed

“I thought about going without you but I-” he started to explain then cut himself off “wait why can't I look into it?” he asked confused

“Because he's the said town hero Stanford ! Everybody loves him! Heck everyone's seen him! Even I've seen him!” she said throwing her hands up in the air for emphasis.

“What?! Why didn't you tell me?! Why did Kathleen jump down my throat about investigating him?!” Stanford asked even more confused than before

“BECAUSE HE'S NOT REAL STANFORD! BUT THEY DON'T CARE!” she yelled then slapped her hands over her mouth seeming to realize what she said. She looked around for anyone then lowered her voice to a whisper as she continued “he brings the tourists that this town thrives on so everyone pretends to see him so that more people will come. If you go around scientifically proving that he doesn't exist MY FAMILY WILL KILL YOU! THEY DON'T CALL HIM 'BUCK SHOT' BUCKY FOR NOTHING!” she said ending in a panicked speaking volume looking around nervous

“Oh…” Stanford said quietly staying silent for a moment in thought before continuing “so there are no resources saying he's not real or disagreeing about where to find him?”

“No.” Joanie whispered, “And if you wanna live your name better not be on any that might come to exist.”

“Well, I'm not going to waste my time looking for something that doesn’t exist. even if I did investigate and found nothing I wouldn't write about it. My job is to find and study anomalies. Not tell people which tourist traps are fake and which ones are real.” he said putting a hand on her shoulder in an attempt to calm her. Joanie opened her mouth to respond only to freeze at the sound of a shotgun pump from behind them. They both turn slowly to see a teary-eyed Uncle Bucky holding his shotgun

“you've broken my heart princess…” he said sadly then pointed his gun at Stanford angrily “This is all your fault! You've poisoned my little princess' mind!”

“Run,” Joanie said quietly causing both of them to sprint toward the cars for cover. The pair duck behind them panting. “the forest! Come on!” she commanded grabbing his hand and pulling him to the treeline.  
Bucky meanwhile lifted his shotgun and aimed for the pair, but as he looked after them he growled in anger, seeing no way he could fire at Stanford and not hurt Joanie. So he fired into the sky to vent. Joanie yelped in fright and pushed Stanford to run faster. “run run run run! Oh my god I can't believe he actually shot at us!” Joanie said with a slight horrified touch.

“YOU AIN'T WELCOME HERE ANY MORE PINES! IF I EVER SEE YOUR FACE AGAIN I WON'T MISS!” Bucky screamed into the brush. Joanie didn't even look back as she continued to pull Stanford through the trees and bushes. They ran for a good long while until Joanie finally looked back to confirm the house had disappeared. Only then did she flop down onto the ground in exhaustion.

“oh man.” she heaved before she groaned into her hands “that could've gone a lot better.” Stanford slowly sat next to her with a groan; panting lightly.

“why did you choose to come with me... You had your family there... you would have been safe... You could have been happy there... Not getting shot at or almost drowning from man-eating beavers.” Stanford muttered tiredly. Joanie lifted her head to look at him

“ what stay in Georgetown? Ya I'm starting to wonder... then again I was one incident away from jail time.” Joanie admitted before she lifted her self up with a grunt and began to dust herself off “ and as for staying in Peachland, it's too small... it's smaller than Georgetown! Plus they have bats... lots of bats.” Joanie said before she shuddered a bit. “welp... we have no clothes. .. all I've got is my wallet and my sunglasses. please say you have the grant money somewhere in that pocket filled jacket of yours.” Joanie suddenly thought with a slight panic. Stranded with no clothes was one thing. Stranded with no clothes and no money was way worse. Stanford leapt to his feet and began to pat each of his pockets in slight panic before his shoulders sunk in relief.

“ yes. How deep-rooted is their hatred of me? Specifically Kathleen's…” Stanford began, having a thought to how some of their predicament could be solved. Joanie pursed her lips in thought.

“ well, Bucky will surely kill you. Aunt Laura might be alright but I bet ya anything aunt Betty and Ruby would join him. great great aunt Lucille is probably lighting torches screaming... crazy old loon. Kevin and Peter are jerks who are probably laughing at us. everybody else probably hates you with a burning passion... probably Kathleen too.” Joanie finished before her face fell “ probably hates me too…” Stanford placed a gentle hand on her shoulder and shook his head.

“ They don't hate you. The family I met, your family, could never hate you. They love you a lot. They might be angry right now but they'll get over it…” Stanford said quietly as he trailed off “It's what families do…” he finished with a swallow. Joanie smiled at him then she looked around. With a smile, she pushed through the edge of the brush to a highway. Then she stuck her thumb out into the road.

“alright! first order of business! get as far away from Peachland as possible!” Joanie said with a grin. Stanford chuckled.

“ let's just get to a bus station and we can get out of here,” Stanford said. The pair waited for about an hour when a pair of lights shone in the distance. The pair stood expectantly then gapped as the cherry red convertible slowed to a stop beside them.

“Get. in.” Kathleen growled, not taking her eyes off the road ahead. Joanie's face twisted into a blubbery smile and she threw herself at her cousin as she entered the passenger seat.

“you are the best cousin ever.” she sobbed. Kathleen huffed in annoyance.

“ yes, I am. “ Kathleen affirmed before she put the car in drive and they sped off. “I'm taking you to the bus station in the next town. if I ever see your face again Stanford I won't be covering for you, you got that?” she said as she glared at the scientist in the rearview. Stanford nodded rapidly.

“ Yes. Thank you” Stanford said, “if you weren't family Joanie…” Kathleen muttered tiredly.

“ thank you so much, Kathy,” Joanie said. The blond rolled her eyes as the car ripped down the highway.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stanford put the bags in the bottom of the bus as the two girls said their goodbyes and exchanged another hug  
“thanks again Kathy. .. I owe you one.” Joanie said leaning back to look at her

“ya you do... you owe me big time jo.” Kathleen said with a playfully serious expression

“ugh I love you so much!” Joanie said pulling her cousin in for another hug

“ya... I love you Joanie…” the other woman smiled brightly releasing the hug after a moment and looking over at Stanford who was writing something in his journal “but your boyfriend is a real jerk.”

“OH FOR” Joanie yelled throwing her hands up defeatedly “HE'S NOT MY BOYFRIEND!” she finished crossing her arms. Kathleen laughed and waved as she got into her car and drove away from the station. Joanie stared after her for a few seconds before she walked over to Stanford looking drained. “sometimes I hate family…” Joanie grumbled in a deadpan tone.


End file.
